Somebody needs to go to jail for scheduling the Buckeyes and the Browns for the same bye week. The trudge to the BCS Title Game/Super Bowl will be a long and tedious trek, but not as long and tedious as a Saturday and Sunday without Buckeyes/Browns football. You might as well cancel the weekend.
And if Ohio State being 21-0 doesn't hold water in this year's polls, then I have no clue how Alabama is still ranked ahead of Oregon or Florida State. I refuse to be disappointed with a Rose Bowl bid, but I will be disappointed if this team gets shutout of the title game and their best opponent on the season ends up being a second place Pac-12 team.
TAYLOR DECKER UPDATE. It wasn't a flawless victory for Ohio State at Purdue, despite what the final score said. Taylor Decker was injured late in the game but the Buckeyes appear to have dodged disaster at a thinly-staffed position:
Meyer confirms Decker has sprained MCL. Said he will be out a week or two.
— Kyle Rowland (@KyleRowland) November 2, 2013
PENN STATE IS CHEATING AGAIN. Remember, football fans: we can no longer deride soccer players for strategically flopping:
STILL don't believe in the Illuminati!?
U CAN TELL BY THE WAY HE USE HIS WALK. [11W Purdue Flickr]WILL MUSCHAMP IS ITCHIN' FOR A FIGHT. It's been raining buckets of shit on the Gators for the majority of this year, and I can't get enough of it. I hope the Florida Gators are never relevant ever again.
What they did to Ohio State in the '07 title game was the worst loss I've ever endured as a human being. Not to mention when Urban left Florida and their fans took a piss on him like a drunken buffoon at the bar complaining about their ex they're still in love with to a stranger who doesn't give a shit. Sorry, Florida fans... he just wasn't that into you.
(And yet, I digress.)
After injuries have nearly decimated their team, the Gators' comeback bid fell short to the Georgia Bulldogs in a typical SEC slopfest masquerading as "big boy football." Florida offense was as potent as a liquored up middle-aged man on the tail-end of a seven-hour bender for large swaths of the game.
Afterwards, Will Muschamp was ready to put his dukes up:
A heckler got under the skin of Florida coach Will Muschamp Saturday night as the Gators coach exited Jacksonville's EverBank Field following a 23-20 loss to rival Georgia.
According to the Palm Beach Post, the fan used an obscene gesture before the state trooper escorting the coach ushered him into the exit tunnel. Jacksonville.com reported that Muschamp said to the fan, "Why don't you come down here?"
Never a good move to give into a heckler (unless you're Bill Burr responding to drunk idiots in Phiadelphia [NSFW]). There's no way for Muschamp to win an encounter like that other than just ignoring the buffoonery. Pride, Mr. Muschamp... it's a devious mistress.
MARCUS MARIOTA HAS A CHIP. Oregon's best shot at losing in a while comes Thursday when the Ducks flock to Stanford. Oregon lost in overtime last year, and their Heisman contending quarterback admitted to having a chip on his shoulder:
With the coolness that a seasoned politician would envy, the Heisman Trophy candidate effectively deflected several questions following practice insinuating that the No. 2 Ducks’ game at No. 6 Stanford on Thursday night is more than simply just another contest.
Then he was asked if he had a chip on his shoulder given that the Cardinal ended UO’s national title hopes last season.
“I guess so, yeah,” Mariota said, his demeanor unaltered. “It’s hard to say that there’s not a chip on my shoulder.”
"I guess so, yeah." Words that will be chiseled into human consciousness for eternity. Granted, Mariota is probably 1b to Jameis Squintson's 1a in Heisman voting, but damn one of them needs to have a bad game. Otherwise, football has been hacked, and somebody needs to call the cops.
I'm not sure Stanford has the horses to hang with Oregon, but home dogs on Thursday nights is a gambling staple. Can the Cardinal win? Chaos reigned on Ohio State's last bye week, so hopefully it rides this weekend once again.
RETURN OF THE MAC. Weekday MACtion returns to our lives this week, and what's better than shitty midwest football teams pimping their mid-major programs with shoddy football games on school nights? This is where Twitter as a supplement to bad television is crucial. Adjust your schedules accordingly.
THOSE WMDs. It's like Amazon.com for inmates... A Marine's close call with a serial killer... Slow TV: The Norwegian movement with universal appeal... Rolando McClain's self-imposed exile from the NFL... Can a paralyzed victim's blinks be used in a trial?... A half a million dollars of walnuts were stolen... Nick Saban's 60 Minutes profile... Columbus is hosting the 2015 NHL All-Star game... Two planes collided at 12,000 feet and everyone survived because they were sky-divers...
