Friday Skull Session

Thankfully Halloween is over. Talk about an already stupid Holiday ran into the ground by people who aren't funny. What are you going as for Halloween? I'm 26, so I'll at least try to impersonate an actual adult for one night. And no, I don't find your Duck Dynasty costume funny or pertinent.  

I wanted to go out last night, but I couldn't, because there are grown adults who take Halloween with the same weight as Christmas or Halloween Thanksgiving. It's a holiday for degenerates and sketch-balls, and the good people of Columbus are better off without it for another 334 days. 

 B1G BASKETBALL MEDIA DAY. Kyle was on the scene yesterday and had an excellent write up about the event that doesn't include anything about the free food. (Thad's entire presser can be found here.) Some key points:

THE BIG TEN IS RUINING OSU's BCS DREAMS. Yes, the Big Ten is mediocre and the narrative about it is alive and well. From Dennis Dodd's mind to yours:

You probably haven't noticed: A Big Ten flagship is ranked fourth, has won 20 in a row and you'd think it was playing in Conference USA. That's because it sure doesn't seem like Ohio State is actually playing in the Big Ten. Not the one you and I grew up watching.

During that current 20-game winning streak, the Buckeyes have beaten Wisconsin, Penn State -- both twice -- Michigan State, Michigan and Nebraska. Nice accomplishment if it's 1978. In 2013, eyebrows barely twitch. Penn State has been stripped bare by the NCAA. Michigan State has a severe offense/defense imbalance. Nebraska has been the best -- and worst -- team you've seen these last five years to win at least nine games. Michigan? Not. Quite. There. Yet.

It all adds up to a potentially tragic end to a great run. Ohio State is on a greased path to being left out of the national championship game. Only the most crazed Bucknuts seem to care.

Well, Dennis, you and I didn't grow up together watching the same Big Ten. And while I don't consider myself a "Bucknut," I guess you're right: I don't care about Ohio State impressing you or your kind. If Ohio State blows everyone out, the Big Ten sucks; if Ohio State skates by the skin of their teeth, it's Ohio State that sucks.

It's a literal Catch-22, and I'm not going to let a trip to the Rose Bowl be ruined by the fact Ohio State isn't respected by crusty dudes who watch probably 1/3rd of the games they vote on.

STOP THIS BABY FROM BECOMING A CRIMINAL

OREGON FANS, BLASTED AGAIN. I've met like one Oregon Duck fan (he was from Portland) in my life, and he seemed like a half-way decent human being. Apparently though, he's an anomaly because this has been a bad week for Ducks fans. First, an anonymous, former BCS-playing Oregon Duck said Oregon fans can go "f--- themselves."

It appears that player started a trend, because another former player, Andy McIntyre, has also come forward with disdain for the student section [SIC'd]:

I first became jaded towards the student bodies support of the team following the loss to the Toby Gerhart lead Stanford team at the farm in 2009. Everyone I talked to following the big upset over Cal, and the Halloween win over USC, had nothing but praise for where the team was headed. Students associating themselves with the team’s efforts by using the term “we” as if they had an integral part in the hard fought victory. I didn’t think much of it at the time up until that loss in November. On the following Monday, people were not saying “we” played a bad game, it was “they played horrible”, as if now they no longer wanted to be associated as a member of the team. A friend of mine said something along those lines and I called him out, stating that A) Stanford was a very good football team, and B) his only obligations he had to the football program were when he woke up Saturday mornings and started drinking. He was not at the facilities from 7-11:30 a.m. Monday-Friday busting his (expletive) in preparation for the next opponent, he was not heading back to the Casanova center after classes every night at 6 pm for film and team meetings. I believe that students act this way because they have no idea how hard the entire process is to win a college football game, and the sheer amount of man-hours in preparation it takes to do so. If they did, they would applaud the team for their hard fought effort in defeat instead of criticizing facets of the game in which they truly, from a football standpoint, do not understand.

I'm not a renowned grammar Nazi, but do they teach Oregon football players how to form paragraphs? Criminey, Andy, you're not writing a Victorian era novel.

... Joking aside, I can see how Oregon fans would come off as arrogant. They've blown up in what, the last ten years? Every fan base carries its idiots, but success like that is a breeding ground for front-runners. Also, meth is very popular in Oregon.

 GENE SMITH AIN'T NO LONGHORN. You may have seen the report yesterday about Gene Smith interviewing for the Texas job. This is the best part about the year 2013: false reports like these can be killed by the parties involved within minutes.

IU DOES THRILLER. I once questioned Tom Herman's MENSA membership due to his fascination with those ghastly "Harlem Shake" of which awful people were enamored. This, however, is pretty good:

Now here's the question: what's scarier? Michael Jackson's post-plastic surgery face or IU's defense? 

THOSE WMDs. Steroid use is "out of control" in central Ohio... Krokodil is due to arrive in Marion very soon..  Celebrity scam artist arrested... Safecracking the brain... The search for the hottest Chili... On rusty ship, 8 Filipino soldiers guard against China... A writer vanishes and offers 5k to anyone who can find him... The last ride of a Cleveland Hells Angels informant...