What did you guys think of Sharknado? Anyone watch it? It seems like a peculiar premise to start a daily morning column on the largest and free unofficial site for the coverage of Ohio State athletics, but the Skull Session is a news-of-the-day feature. It's supposed to foster conversation. I'm not sure much of a premise for this feature's abstract is needed.
Then again, I'm not sure much of a premise was needed for a Syfy movie based on a torrential rainstorm in Los Angeles, that results in several tornadoes, tornadoes that pass over the Pacific Ocean, that pick up sharks and only sharks to spread through the city, which can jump in mid-air and eat a girl from a helicopter (who happens to be throwing bombs into the tornadoes), for which the climax is Steve Sanders from Beverly Hills 90210 jumping into the shark with a chainsaw (and what are the odds it's the same damn shark?), and rescuing the girl, who is fine despite being ate by a shark while falling out a helicopter. And also they kiss at the end. And Tara Reid is in it too.
Who says Hollywood doesn't have good ideas anymore?
RAY SMALL REALLY DID THAT 360, DIDN'T HE? When people turn their lives around and commit themselves to walking the figurative straight and narrow after traveling a wayward path through life, they tend to express it as doing a "360" in their lives. This is, of course, the incorrect metaphor. There are 360 degrees in a circle, so a 360 turn would start from x and end in x. "180" is the correct number of degrees for the metaphor, but "360" just sounds cooler or more impressive despite the connotation. Maybe that's the fault of the X Games, or something.
Two months ago, Ray Small announced that his life had done a complete "360". Two months later, his word choice seemed prophetic. He was arrested for a laundry list of drug trafficking charges and could face a rather lengthy stay in jail, if convicted of all charges.
A lot of you have been discussing this in the Buckshot. Its inclusion in this feature comes from this interesting question posed on Twitter.
Ohio State fans, is Ray Small the ex-Buckeye you're most embarrassed of? If not, who? Schlichter?
— Ben Axelrod (@BenAxelrod) July 12, 2013
Prima facie, the answer is a loud "no". Ray Small may be on a path that leads to his own self-destruction, but Art Schlichter's misdeeds border on a sociopathy. Schlichter has repeatedly used the same scheme (getting discounted tickets to premier sporting events) to con people around him of their money, which he gambles and invariably loses. Seriously, the scheme that just landed him in jail for eleven years also landed him in jail in the 1990s (among other associated charges).
He never changes, but the names of the victims do. They're easy prey (loved ones or the elderly), which he can intimidate if they ask questions about the nature of his figurative bundle of goods. That he has a "type" he targets with the same scheme suggests his view of society is one where its inhabitants are instruments to him and his compulsive need to gamble for the next big payout. Maybe younger Buckeye fans don't know the extent of his crimes, or have just groaned and wished this relic from Buckeye football past would go away forever, but Schlichter is a scary person. That he doesn't "look it" makes him all the scarier. It makes it easier for him to manipulate people.
It was easy for me to dismiss that question when I first read it, knowing well the extent of Schlichter's multiple felonies. Then, a thought occurred. I'm not sure Schlichter ever tried to torpedo the program we all love. In the broad scheme of things, that's clearly NOT worse to do than what Schlichter actually did. But, Ohio State football resonates with all of us, and basically equally. Maybe stories of victims of fraud and forgery scare us a bit and make us grab our wallets and purses a bit tighter, but the reaction seems less visceral. "Ohio State" is our collective identity and attacks on "Ohio State" become attacks on ourselves. For one reason or the other, Small tried to do just that in 2011 while Ohio State was taking a battering from the media over "Tatgate".
Further, he tried to do it in a profoundly stupid way. It came off as an attempt to sucker punch the coaches and staff that had to discipline him routinely, but had the adverse effect of napalming his remaining connections still on the football roster. That was really the last we heard from Ray Small until late May, when he announced he had done a "360". Now, the nature of his "360" is revealed.
The question posed there seemed trivial, but I think revealed a subtle truth about how we think of Ray Small. It is a case of "apples and oranges" to an extent, but we can compare those if we're mindful of what we are saying.
Of course, a recency bias is hard to ignore here.
THE SEARCH FOR A 1,000 YARD RUSHER. In third week of November 2011, I think we were all relieved — even on cloud nine ecstatic — to learn that Urban Meyer was going to be our new head football coach. Now, if you had told me that in January 2007 that would be the case in November 2011, I probably would have set you on fire. But, time is a curious mistress.
I had two questions (even reservations, if you want to put it that way) about Urban Meyer when it was announced he was coming to Columbus. One was the issue of player discipline. I'm happy so far with what he's shown at Ohio State (and have no complaints), but his record at Florida on that issue was imperfect and needed to be treated as that, accordingly.
The other question was about tailbacks. It was somewhat alarming, not that he's never had a 1,000 yard rusher at tailback, but that his offenses never seemed to develop running backs either. His tailback situation at Florida in 2009 and 2010 was grim. He was going to be walking into a situation where Ohio State had a veritable battalion of running backs capable of invading and occupying Portugal. He needed to get more from them — and certainly one, in particular — if he was going to be successful on the field and on the recruiting trail.
Entering 2013, I think Ohio State fans are more than confident about the competence of our running backs, and our use of them in the offense. We want to know if one of them is going to earn the distinction of Meyer's first 1,000-yard tailback.
For Doug Lesmerises, this is one of the questions he's asking before fall camp starts. To be clear in the case of Carlos Hyde, he was real close last year.
Take the second half of Carlos Hyde's 2012 season for a full season, and he'll blow this Urban Meyer topic out of the water.
In the last seven games last year, Ohio State's No. 1 running back carried the ball 150 times for 812 yards. That's an average of 21 carries and 116 yards per game.
Do that for 14 games this season – including the Big Ten title game and bowl game – and Hyde would run for 1,624 yards. That would have ranked in the top 10 in the nation last year.
The interesting question isn't necessarily whether Ohio State will pick up rushing yards. We should. Everyone involved also seems to recognize the need to make Braxton Miller's rushing load a bit lighter. With so many tailbacks on the roster, do guys like Carlos Hyde and Rod Smith cannibalize each other's carries and yards?
It's been too long since Pitt and Penn State last played. FUTURE SCHEDULES. The Big Ten released its conference schedules for 2016 and 2017 on Thursday. Conference schedules are conference schedules. You deal with them. I'm not crazy about beginning the 2017 season with a league game (even though the Big Ten used to feature that regularly in the 1960s and 1970s), and no one should look forward to having to watch Maryland and Rutgers every year. Playing them is one thing, but looking at them? No thanks.
But alas. Them's the breaks. Improvise, adapt, overcome, if you will.
The more interesting development from that is Ohio State seems content with playing just six home games in 2017. A nine-game conference schedule means some teams in the league will play five conference road games. That will be the case for the Buckeyes in 2017. Further, it has just two non-conference home games on the books for that season. One of them is Oklahoma on September 16th, which would be the forty-year anniversary of the (in)famous 1977 contest. The other is an open date with a MAC snack to be determined.
Left in the balance was Ohio State's scheduled trip to North Carolina on September 23. However, Gene Smith announced that there are no plans to cancel that game. Ohio State will forgo a home game in 2017.
That much doesn't seem interesting until one thinks of what home games are for Ohio State's athletic department. They're cash cows. Home games bring in the revenue that help finance other sports and other parts of the athletic budget. A trip to Chapel Hill has a lot of spectator value for fans, but this is quite the opportunity cost.
Ohio State's 2017 schedule will be quite challenging. Five conference road games, including trips to Nebraska and Michigan. It will begin its season with a game at Indiana, a cupcake, Oklahoma, and at North Carolina. This is a nice difficulty level: the "Hurt Me Plenty" of schedules for those that like expressing all things in life with reference to Doom and/or Doom II. Maybe it'll get upped to "Ultra-Violence" as 2017 approaches.
This prompted a look around the league to see what some of our colleagues' future schedules look like. Not a lot stood out. Iowa has its hands so far into the FCS cookie jar that I'm not sure they'll get it out without having to break the jar itself. No one can accuse Michigan of being afraid of anyone. They cycle off Notre Dame shortly, but have games against interesting (if not great) teams like Arkansas, Colorado, Hawaii, and Virginia Tech. Michigan State has home-and-homes scheduled with Oregon and Alabama because it is a glutton for punishment. Penn State and Pittsburgh are finally playing each other again in 2017, which will be the first time since 1999 for the two former rivals. Purdue is still playing Notre Dame, which it needs to stop doing because no one cares anymore and no one's watching. Northwestern has a six-game series coming against Stanford, which is great because they should've been doing that already. Further, Wisconsin is finally joining competitive football by not having appallingly easy non-conference schedules. Alabama, Virginia Tech, and Washington are all forthcoming.
MISCELLANY. Nashville is a hockey town... You guys have seen this by now, I'm sure, but egads... Settlements forthcoming for Penn State in the wake of the Sandusky scandal... Deshaun Thomas is putting in his summer league work... Baron Davis was totes abducted by aliens... Louisiana State running back pleads guilty to battery, but gets no jail time... Keith Olbermann back? Maybe... Yeah, I would've burned down Jeopardy for this. Burned it all down.
