Monday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on February 6, 2012 at 6:00 am
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MAN DONATE TO THE HONEYPOT SO WE CAN KEEP RUNNING THE WORLD FROM THIS BASEMENT... ALSO SEND US PIZZA ROLLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the fall of 2004, I went to see Lakewood St. Edward play Warren G. Harding in the Ohio High School Football Division-I Playoffs. (I was cheering for the Raiders of Warren G. Harding, because I'll ride for any entity named after the 29th and Most Hated On President of the United States.)

Anyways, I remember thinking Alex Boone was basically the biggest human being there ever was. I also remember Mario Manningham having several key drops  in the game, including a game-sealing muff of a 4th quarter punt, and thinking "Michigan can have that dude."

Almost 8 years later, Mario Manningham is making miracle catches in the Super Bowl and probably having sex with real life women because of it. Well played, Mario, well played.  

LEGENDS AND LEADERS WE WILL FOREVER BE. Unfortunately friends, it appears the ridiculous Big Ten Division names, "Legends" and "Leaders", is here to stay due to popular demand. Via The Chicago Tribune:

The Big Ten will maintain its Legends and Leaders division names after hiring a research firm that revealed two-thirds of people surveyed liked the labels that had come under heavy public criticism through media and social networking.

 

The conference said through a news release that the Legends and Leaders names "have some intrinsic value" and will be used throughout the 2012 football season.The Big Ten will maintain its Legends and Leaders division names after hiring a research firm that revealed two-thirds of people surveyed liked the labels that had come under heavy public criticism through media and social networking.

The conference said through a news release that the Legends and Leaders names "have some intrinsic value" and will be used throughout the 2012 football season.

Well thanks, People Who Participate in Surveys. We are now stuck with two completely arrogant division names which will be rightfully mocked from coast-to-coast. I look forward to all the snide comments from outsiders when Iowa and Minnesota are locked in a fourth quarter 3-0 slugfest. Personally, I have always wondered what was left on the cutting room floor if "Legends" and "Leaders" was the best the Big Ten oracles could come up with. I bet it's horrifying. But hey, at least the names have "some intrinsic value"! No matter that "intrinsic value" is a bankrupt phrase peddled by dickheaded marketers.

(*sigh* I don't even know why I get mad anyway. It ain't like the division names won't be "Urban" and "Meyer" in twenty years anyway.) 

 2013 #1 RECRUIT IS KINDA BEASTLY. So, here's all I needed to know about the 2013 recruiting class' #1 recruit to know I wanted him on my team: his name is "Robert Nkemdiche" (Kim-dee-chee) and his mother is a congresswoman in Nigeria. I am a man of simple tastes.

The 6'5", 270 lbs. defensive end/running back from Georgia has been compared to Herschel Walker and is said to be the best southern prospect since the 1980's. Nkemdiche benches 350 lbs., power cleans 335 lbs., squats more than 500 lbs. and runs a 4.5 second 40-yard dash. He will obviously have the choice as to where he plays football at the next level. The question is though, would he choke somebody to win a checker game? (*Urban Meyer voice*)

I guess people actually do lift weights!?

POWERLIFTER TO MSU? Gawain Johnstone, a 26 year old Australian powerlifter (and one of the strongest men in the country) grew up watching NFL highlights. The 6'2", 390 lbs Johnstone also may be the next walk-on at Michigan State if things go right.

Johnstone, who benches 530 lbs. and squats 830 lbs., plans on taking the SAT in the next coming weeks and training with former employees of NFL Europe. Toledo, Eastern Michigan and Saginaw State have also shown interest in the international.

I, for one, love these kinds of stories. I think as time goes on and the game of "American football" begins to spread, college coaches will begin trolling international territories for new talent pipelines even more than they are starting to do. The more talent, the better, I say.

THE ANTI-SABAN. I kill the NCAA a lot, namely because it's a multi-million dollar tax-haven using 18-22 year old kids as pawns. But while there have been a lot of bad stories in the realm of college sports this year, at least there's SOMEBODY out there doing the right thing.

Rice's football coach, David Bailiff, like most coaches on last week's Natinal Signing Day, brought in a class of bright-eyed recruits. Unlike most coaches, however, he has a pretty rigid definition of the word "commitment". You see, one of Bailiff's signees, David Wilganowski, a defensive end from Bryan Rudder High, collapsed during a game in the fall. It was revealed later the Rice-commitment had a career-ending heart condition. Rice signed him anyway.  

FSU BOUT TO SUE WEST VIRGINIA. Last week, CBS' Bret McMurphy reported West Virginia would rather pay Florida State $500,000 than play them in football. Well, this week, Florida State may sue them for breach of contract. September 8th, you see, isn't far away, and Florida State may not be able to find anybody to fill the sudden vacancy in time. That means a lot of "liquidated damages" which Florida State needs to be paid for, according to some lawyer paid a lot of money by Florida State. It's a shame West Virginia still is in the 15th century, though. Therefore, they do not have English Common Law courts there. Not sure Florida State would be interested in "trial by blood", which is usually how West Virginians settle things. 

هو هنا الاخبار الغريبة Lost Oregon hikers considered sacrificing their dog for food... NASA releases an another impossibly detailed photo of Earth... Hardee's "Move of the Game" is English for EUPHORIA... The Fast, Fabulous, Allegedly Fraudulous Life of Megaupload.com's Kim Dotcom... Over 3 years later, "deleted" Facebook photos still online... Uh, I want to swim here... The Death of the Cyberflâneur...

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