Friday Skull Session

By Johnny Ginter on February 24, 2012 at 6:00a
41 Comments

Happy Friday everyone, and welcome to your morning Skull Session! I'm back on Skullys for a one week engagement! You may resume your grim sharpening of bayonets and polishing of barrels (not that it will do you any good since in my time away from doing these I have evolved a rock hard carapace and heat vision)!

Apparently the last one of these that I did was 26 weeks ago, and in that time I have honed my considerable talent for making fart jokes and self-deprecating references to people in the Midwest being fat into a finely tuned comedy machine capable of turning the world on its' ear with even more fart jokes and pointed references that very specifically point out the largesse of one Brady Hoke.

Plus, look at all the material I've been given! Nevin Shapiro, JaVale McGee, that one photo of Nick Saban somehow resisting the urge to stand on his toes in the SEC coaches' picture, William Buford's deeply ingrained phobia of Saturdays; I mean really, the sky is the limit. The world has provided for me a virtual cornucopia of subjects to choose from and amuse you with, so sit back and relax as I blow your tiny little brains through the back of your craniums as you read some of the most engrossing and talked-about issues in sports today.

Let's start with women's basketball.

SAMANTHA PRAHALIS IS THE BEST And I mean this literally. Well not literally, I don't really know what literally being the best would entail, since "best" is such an amorphous concept for anything requiring quantitative analysis. But in any case, Sammy P took it upon herself to score 42 points last night in a 81-56 victory against Minnesota at the Schott, setting the OSU women's basketball record for points in a game, last held by Katie Smith. Prahalis has been consistently one of the most exciting women's basketball players in the Big Ten during her four years on the team by way of her passing skills, and it's appropriate that she chose her final home game to put on her biggest show.

After her twin accomplishments of breaking an 18 year old record and surviving the douche-chillingest interview ever, Prahalis is poised to lead OSU to a deep run in March. We'll be watching, because after last night, we've got no choice not to. Thnaks for everything, Sammy.

SPEAKING OF MARCH CBS released their selection of announcers for the men's tournament, and that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach as you frantically search for the name GUS JOHNSON on the list will not be relieved because in case you forgot, he's with the BTN and Fox now. Instead, CBS decided to punish us for our hubris by pairing up Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery, who are all but confirmed to be covering Ohio State games because it is an irrefutable fact that the universe hates us. More proof: the excellent Kevin Harlan will be covering games with, uh, Reggie Miller. Yep.

Miss yoouuuuuuuuuu

BIG TWO LITTLE TEN The Detroit News seems to be convinced that Ohio State and Michigan are both poised to dominate the Big Ten as they had in years past, mainly due to the strength of their recent recruiting classes. To wit:

"It looks now like the entire Midwest is down to Michigan-Ohio State," Lemming said. "The rivalry is back. (Michigan's) is the best haul in one day I've seen in one weekend in the Midwest."

"If it keeps going this way, Michigan and Ohio State are going to leave everyone in (the Big Ten in) their dust. There doesn't seem like there's anybody who could punch Ohio State and Michigan in the nose. Michigan State is really the only one."

I guess? Look, as much as I believe (and want to believe) that OSU will quickly return to prominence in the Big Ten, one dominant recruiting class doesn't change the fact that Ohio State has some glaring holes on both offense and defense that aren't going to be solved overnight. Same with Michigan, who'll be faced with some serious questions to answer at QB after this season, and also the omnipresent threat of US News and World Report dropping them from the top ten public universities in the US because of the majors that their football players have chooooaaahahah just kidding that isn't relevant in any way at all.

LOOKWELL! In the early 1990's Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel attempted to resurrect the career of Adam West by creating a single camera show where he plays a washed up TV actor who moonlights as a detective. It was called Lookwell!, it never got past the pilot stage, and it is the greatest thing in the history of mankind. Watch it in it's entirety, now.

KIRK FERENTZ, MASTER THIEF Okay, so, Iowa needed a new Offensive Coordinator after the end of this past season, and incredibly overpaid head coach Kirk Ferentz scoured the globe to find the most brilliant offensive mind that whatever money the University of Iowa had left over after paying for Kirk's solid gold tanning bed could buy.

Then he offered Greg Davis five bucks and a push pop and he said yes. Maybe this is kind of unfair to Davis. After all, he did preside over the offense that ultimately won a National Championship. On the other hand, he also presided over whatever the hell this was supposed to be. "But Johnny," you say, "Davis won the Broyles Award!" Well guess what, I don't even know what that is, and the folks over at Black Heart Gold Pants are similarly unimpressed and sadly unsurprised. They see him as the perfect punching bag to deflect criticism from Ferentz and his herd of genetically modified technicolor Okapi that live on his private nature reserve in Tibet, and they are dead on.

ROUNDING THIRD, HEADING FOR HOME Urkel driving the paint on Reggie Miller and the Fresh Prince... SBN's greatest college recruiting stories of all time... COLLEGE DOG... TCU's stadium addition seems kinda familiar... GO FOR IT JERRY LINN!!... The most incredibly passive aggressive video about sidewalk weeds ever... A salute to a badass. Free Homs.

41 Comments

Comments

Is it Saturday Yet's picture

Got the thnaks link but not the Sammy link. Who was that guy interviewing her? Was that dude super creepy or was it me?

I can't stand Gus Johnson and I enjoy Reggie doing NBA games. I like the pair we had for the last game a lot.

With Tress we were always in the hunt, and my expectations are so high with Meyer right now it's probably not healthy for me to think this way. Michigan had a pretty good year last year regardless of their schedule. Even their basketball team seems to be taking off. Next year's Michigan team is scary on paper. Their football team, when they stopped pretending Denard was a pro style QB, looked really good despite their defensive woes. It appears that these 2 teams are on a collision course for some really exciting (and stessful) games. With the direction things are going The Game should mean a lot to both teams again.

SLVRBLLTS's picture

Pretty sure Gus Johnson is as good as it gets. He was able to keep my interest in the most uninteresting major sport.

"Because we couldn't go for three"

Is it Saturday Yet's picture

IMO he is way over the top and tries hard to be that way. I prefer them to sound more natural, less forced.

btalbert25's picture

I also don't care for Gus Johnson at all.  In fact, when people started talking about how awesome Gus Johnson was, I really thought it was a big joke and they were being sarcastic.  Then I found out people were serious and I was thinking WTF?  Did I miss something here.  I don't like Lundquist, but If I'm going to have an overthetop, goofball calling games, I like Rafftery, his little catch lines are goofy but they crack me up.  Plus, unlike Johnson, He's not screaming at me the whole game. 

Lucys Daddy is a Buckeye's picture

Rafftery's best line???

 

ONIONS!!!!

...And when we win the game, We'll buy a keg of booze....And we'll drink to old Ohio til we wobble in our shoes...

439LawDog's picture

Not sure that the "douche" analogy is strong enough......

 

buckeyenut10's picture

Wait, we were in the top 10 public schools and got dropped?

German Buckeye's picture

I still want to beat TSUN - if Urban can duplicate Tressel's performance, A-OK.  

Maestro's picture

Verne, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, wonder how those McMorris (Morris) twins from Kansas are doing in the league?  Dude really needs to just hang 'em up.  He flat out sucks.

vacuuming sucks

Maestro's picture

Oh, and that Jerry Linn thing just boggles my mind.  How can anyone really be that dumb?  It has to be fake, it just has to be.

vacuuming sucks

Squirrel Master's picture

She probably was asked to do for rush or something. Then again we are talking about FSU. They are basically "Free Sex University"! Never met cheaper women than at FSU and UF.

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

Squirrel Master's picture

I would love it if they can recreate a show like that now where it actor/actors are unaware that its 2012 and not 1970. They did it in the Brady Movies but that was really cheesy. I am talking about something that would be funnier. Like Dirty Harry and what it would be like today. Although he would probably get written up on sexual harrassment charges and arrested for killing a guy for stealing a pack of gum.

I am surprised Sammy didn't straight punch the crap out of that guy! Talk about a Richard Cranium!

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

Brutus's picture

They did it in the first Austin Powers as well.  Not cheesy at all.  F-ing brilliant.  If you hear that theme music and don't start giggling instantly, you have no soul.

Squirrel Master's picture

Yeah, forgot about that. but I think a TV show would be awesome.

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

luckynewman13's picture

What?! I thought The Brady Duology was awesome!

Gary Cole is f***ing priceless in both of them.

Squirrel Master's picture

Still cheesy. The whole point of those movies was to be cheesy.

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

Run_Fido_Run's picture

I only watched the first five minutes of the Prahallis interview. Does the interviewer do/ask something offensive in the last five minutes?

Otherwise, I'm alright with it. Obviously, the kid's (Nicky B) "interview" is mostly about HIM. Like, Prahallis is lucky to get to appear on the Nicky B show. But he's a college kid who is trying to promote his career, or shtick, which is that he's the coolest, smoothest play'a ever to come out of Long Island. Personally, those dudes annoy the hell out of me, but he probably has a future being Nicky B and this is one of the vehicles he'll use to get there.

Likewise, Prahallis is using her vehicle to get to where she wants to go.      

Squirrel Master's picture

I agree, he will probably star in a "Jersey Shore" type of show and make millions. I hate that my inner ego won't let me act like that for money.

I don't think that interview does anything for Prahallis! I think she was ready to do an interview and realized what a mistake it was. He didn't really do anything more than what he did in the first 5 seconds. I mean seriously, Nicky B? That has douche written all over it.

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

BucksfanXC's picture

I disappointed that you didn't have a single Reds reference. Pitchers and catchers reported this week! One month and and some change til Opening Day in the Queen City!

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

BuckeyeSki's picture

How many months until they are eliminated from playoff contention?

/YankeeFanHubris

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

thatlillefty's picture

Cincinnati Reds = 2012 World Champions!

btalbert25's picture

THIS!  Actually, I don't know that they'll win it all, but they will win the central this year, and with Cueto and Latos at the top of the rotation I like their chances to advance to the NLCS if not WS. 

BucksfanXC's picture

They'll need a lefty in the rotation, if not two if you ask me. Chapman can step up and fill that role, but I'm not sure how many innings you can throw at 105mph. The Tigers made the WS in 2006 with the pitching combos they had, you went from starters throwing 95-100 with Verlander, Bonderman, Robertson, then you had a middle relief guy that threw off speed changes and then Zumaya came in and threw 100+ to close it out. No hitter could get into a rhythm. 

The Reds will be good as long as the young guys don't have too big of a learning curve, which in baseball, is less than say football/basketball, because of the minor leagues. So it should be a good year. I think they should win the division and with the new 10 team playoff that is gonna pass for this year by end of next week, they'll be set up to win the first round at least.

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

BuckeyeSki's picture

The 10 team playoff is a joke. Its just corporations and ESPiN getting at the League to make more money out of the Yanks/Sox rivalry in the playoffs that is bound to happen a WHOLE lot more. Really, that format is a gift to the NL East as they will get 3 out of 4 teams in the playoffs each year.

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

SouthBayBuckeye's picture

Agreed. 10 team playoff is garbage. Why don't they just make it a field of 68, add more baseball teams and everything?

Banned from ATO since June 3rd 2PMish PST

BuckeyeSki's picture

Expansion Team Possibilities:

Trenton Titans

New Orleans Crawfish

Dabuque Dukes

 

 

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

SouthBayBuckeye's picture

Indianapolis Neck Surguries and if Peyton retires Neck Beards.

 

Southern California could use a 3rd or 4th team within 40 miels as well..... The Los Angeles Palms of Anaheim and Palm Springs.

 

Ybor City too Old Strippers.

Banned from ATO since June 3rd 2PMish PST

BuckeyeSki's picture

Las Vegas Linemakers

Sacramento Slashers*

*no public gang affiliations

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

btalbert25's picture

Really the only young guys who haven't played significant innings in the majors that will be playing a large role on the team this year are Cozart and Mesoraco.  He's going to be splitting time with Hannigan though.  Cozart really doesn't have to do much at all to be an improvement over what was starting at Short last season. Ludwick is going to play LF and split time with Heisey.  Either one of those is an upgrade over Johnny Gomes and Fred Lewis.

There are youngsters on the team like Latos, Bailey, Cueto, Leake, and Bruce, but they have all played signficant innings.  I don't see the neccessity for a lefty in the rotation, and I really don't see Chapman starting the season in the rotation with Cueto and Latos Locks.  Arroyo is making too much money to bump him out of the rotation, Bailey has no more options, and how are you going to put Leake in AAA to start the year after how he's pitched his first 2 seasons.  Chapman is going to spend much of the season in AAA learning how to be a starter.

They definitely have the horses to be one of the best teams in the National League.  As I said, this team is significantly better than the one that won the division in 2010.  

BrewstersMillions's picture

Has anyone in baseball gotten better because everyone around them got worse like Cinci has this year? The went from middle of the road NL Central to odds on favorite simply because Prince Albert went to another can. I'd worry about what sort of voodoo Dusty Baker puts on your starting rotations arms. Pitchers' arms tend to break under his care.

4-6 seconds from point A to point B and when you get to point B, be pissed off

hodge's picture

*Downs entire pitcher of Kool-Aid*

Dusty Baker mismanage a pitching rotation? NEVER!!

 

btalbert25's picture

I don't know, the Reds won this division 2 years ago with a worse team than they have today.  That was with the Cards having a healthy Carpenter and Wainwright.  Dave Duncan and LaRussa were still coaching, and Albert and Holiday were in the lineup. Last year the Reds had some pretty bad luck with injuries.  Cueto and Bailey missed the first month, Volquez sucked, and Arroyo should've taken the first month off.  He had mono and a bad back.  The lack of pitching from the rotation killed the bullpen.  Janish and Renteria were horrible, Rolen was injured, and Left field got zero production. 

So, I'd say the Reds solved their problem in LF, a healthy Cozart is significantly better than what they had at shortstop all year, and Rolen will be back in the lineup.  Not to mention they significantly improved their rotation by adding an ace caliber guy, and the bolsterred their lineup.  Those moves make the Reds significantly better than last year with all the bad luck, and 2010 when they won the damn division. 

As for the other teams getting worse.  Well many are projecting the Cards to not have much of a fall off.  Wainwright will be back after missing all of last year, and they are Adding Beltran, who's WAR in 2011 wasn't much different than Pujols.  The Brewers lost Prince, big deal.  He was a plus 8 WAR player.  They won 96 games last year so replace him with a guy that gives 50 percent of the production as Prince and you still have a 92 win team.  Braun, Weeks, and Hart are still in the lineup, and they have a great pitching staff.  Plus, the BS decision yesterday that said Braun will not be suspended.  I don't see the other 2 other teams being significantly different than last year. The Cards are due for some bad luck just because it seems like every year things just work out for them, but on the field , they aren't much different than last year

toledobuckeyefanjim's picture

Being here in Toledo and far too close to that town up north, I can tell you that they have the second coming of John Navarre and Chad Henne in Shane Morris as Denard's replacement in 2013. I speak of him in terms of what Navarre and Henne did against The Ohio State University on the football field. Something like a 1-7 record if I remember correctly. Yeah, Devin Gardner will likely be the starter in 2013 for awhile but he may be their next Bauserman the way Morris is glorified in the media up there.

costinjr's picture

Is there an archives section of eleven warriors?

RBuck's picture

There are 519 pages of every article posted on 11W going back to 2006. Go to the bottom of the homepage and entertain yourself for months. What is amazing is how 11W has grown.

Respect The Basement. Contribute.

"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)

costinjr's picture

I realize that, but lets say I'm looking for something around 200 pages deep, is there a search function, or do I have to click by tens to get to the article I want?

RBuck's picture

Not to my knowledge.

"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)

nickma71's picture

Is Lookwell better than the Star Wars Holiday Special on TV?

Johnny Ginter's picture

lookwell is seriously hilarious, and intentionally so. i wasn't putting it in there to be ironic, i legitimately think it is one of the funniest things ive seen

osukdawg76's picture

For those who were feeling okay about losing Stefon Diggs, here's your vindication:

 

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/highschool-prep-rally/top-maryland-footbal...

I, for one, welcome our new coaching overlords.