Weekend Update Sponsored by Apathy

By DJ Byrnes on December 22, 2011 at 3:00p
37 Comments
BET OL DUDE THINKS TWICE NOW BEFORE MAKING ANOTHER PLAY AGAINST THEM BUCKEYES THO!!!!!!!!Woody Hayes paid his players in cash too.

And just like that, Gene Smith's ineptness has taken any magic left out of this season for me. I mean, I can't blame the NCAA. I'm sure they saw Urban Meyer's introductory conference where Gene Smith's arrogance about potential NCAA penalties was flaunted about by none other than Gene Smith himself. Why Ohio State didn't ban themselves the second it was obvious they were headed to the freaking Gator Bowl, I'll never know. Then again, I don't get paid ~1.2 million dollars a year to make those kind of decisions.

I'd also like to personally shout-out people like Bobby DiGeronimo and other grown-ass men who feed their ego's insecurities by being a college football "insider." I can almost picture DiGeronimo it some clandestine country club room, slapping scotch glasses with his friends and telling them things like, "I know that guy!" when people like DeVier Posey score a touchdown. Of course, college football's dirty little secret is that it needs Bobby DiGeronimos to keep the sport profitable (do you think Ohio State is picking up the entire tab on Urban Meyer's coaching fees?), but this whole situation just makes me feel dirty -- and when coupled with all that's gone on in college football this year -- really has me longing for NBA games like never before. Seeing as the envelope filled with cash handshake has been a part of college football since Woody Hayes' days, it's not like the NCAA will ever be able to regulate this anyway. They will always be too slow and one step behind the Bobby DiGeronimos of the world. I'm sure all elite programs are just one email away from ending up in Ohio State's situation. Really makes you feel good about college football, no?   

Now, I'm sure Jim Bollman is sitting in his lair right now, cooking up offensive philosophies and schemes which will stand for the next 300 years; I'm sure the offensive display will have me back in college football's saddle soon enough. And if that doesn't, then the first time I watch Urban Meyer trotting out in front of the 2012 Buckeyes will. 

Speaking of bowl games featuring under-whelming teams, have any of you peeked at this weekend's slate? There are two games to get you through this weekend! (I mean, honestly, can't we just get the SEC love-fest national title game over with and crown LSU already?)

LAST WEEK: 2-3
SEASON: 77-57

RT @n00neimp0rtant: 12 biebers wearing backward hats holding skateboards leaning against brick walls. "milk is for losers," they chant. "milk is bogus"THIS MAN WILL PICK HIS TEETH WITH YOUR BONES

MAACO BOWL: Arizona State (+14.5) vs. #7 Boise State - Thursday 8:00 EST - ESPN 
An excerpt from BCS President Bill Hancock's letter to Boise State, et al: AND LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ANY OF YOU UPPITY MID-MAJORS TRYING TO CRASH THE BCS MONEY PARTY. WHEN YOU LOSE -- AND YOU WILL LOSE -- WE WILL CAST YOU DOWN WITH THE SODOMITES TO PLAY A 6-6 TEAM WITH NOTHING TO LOSE AND A COACH WHOSE ALREADY BEEN GIVEN WALKING PAPERS. 

​This game will feature my favorite defensive player ever not named "Mike Doss", Vontaze Burflict. I mean, I wish I could've gambled on him being a future NFL star the second he was christened "Vontaze". If you're named Vontaze, you have no choice but to be a destroyer of worlds. NO CHOICE. *And thus concludes my entire scouting report on Arizona State* 

As for Boise, I mean... really? This is where they slid due to a single loss? I guess it could be worse -- they could've been relegated to playing in Boise -- but still, I feel this team deserves a little better. Tell me, Boise, why don't you have a national fanbase of smug people with money who haven't been to a BCS bowl game in a few years? THEN MAYBE YOU COULD BE PLAYING THE SORRY-ASS VIRGINIA TECH HOKIES. (/billhancock voice)

I'm sure the expectation of this game is for Kellen Moore to put a whoopin' on ol' ASU. But, I like the Sun Devils and the points in this one. Sometimes having a dead man walking for a head coach and lack of expectations has a way of freeing teams. (Think about how Rick Neuheisel's firing sparked his team into covering a 32.5 point spread against the Oregon Ducks in the Pac-12 title game!) Plus, what exactly is Boise State playing for here, again?

RT @wolfpupy: demons clawing at my skin, I scream "Go back from whence you came" hurling the Justin Bieber pillow into the Rancho Cucamonga lake of fireTHIS IS THE BOWL GAME JACKPOT RIGHT HERE
 

HAWAI'I BOWL: Nevada vs. #21 Southern Mississippi (-8) - Saturday 8:00 EST - ESPN
Talk about hitting the jackpot! A free trip to Hawai'i? Now THAT's some compensation for risking bodily injury for people's entertainment! How many players do you think would trade a non-title game bowl in order to play in the Hawai'i bowl? I'm thinking that number is probably around 85%. (The fact that Nevada has played in this bowl three times since 2005 is probably the #1 reason their recruits signed with them.)

This years rendition of the Hawai'i Bowl brings another game where the teams' records are lopsided. The best team in Mississippi, the Golden Eagles of Southern Mississippi, come in with a sterling 11-2 record. Their opponents are the innovators of the pistol formation, the 7-5 Nevada Wolf Pack. The Hawai'i Bowl will be where Southern Mississippi's coach, Larry Fedora, makes his last stand before heading east to take over North Carolina's stuttering program.

Expect this game to have a lot of points, as Southern Mississippi's senior quarterback, Austin Davis, has compiled over 3,330 yards  passing and 28 touchdowns in Fedora's spread attack. Nevada's All-American defensive tackle, Brett Roy, will be doing his best to scuttle Davis' final game.

If the team that smacked Houston in the mouth shows up, then I think Southern Mississippi pulls away from the Wolf Pack and sends its coach off to Chapel Hill the right way. 

37 Comments

Comments

Rooster Buckburn's picture

Curious if anyone is willing to pick ASU to win?

Arizona_Buckeye's picture

God no - and I live in Phoenix! They will get their asses handed to them in a few hours! They were an imploded and defeated team prior to losing their coach and now - they will just go there and get humiliated. I would be surprised if Kellon didn't throw 5 TDs tonight

The best thing about Pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced

DJ Byrnes's picture

I think they'll win, but my fallibility is well known in these parts.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

Arizona_Buckeye's picture

DJ - I have seen them play too many times to even give them a prayer o a chance!  Then again - I suck at picking these things as well!

The best thing about Pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced

DJ Byrnes's picture

Your opinions on ASU are much more valid than mine, it would seem. 

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

LadyBuck's picture

Dare I ask what's up with the Justin Bieber hate retweets? Not that I don't agree with them, but it's a tad random.

DJ Byrnes's picture

Hahaha, my twitter is a loose confederation of random joke tellers. The Bieber RT's in the photo tags are simply tweets that made me laugh. The Bieber thing was just coincidental and unintentional.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

Arizona_Buckeye's picture

On the bright side - at least Bobby DiGeronimo is a booster that is not bitter and out for revenge like the dude down in Miami!!! 

The best thing about Pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced

biggy84's picture

Bobby D and the players attorney are saying that everything was legit and that Geno was afraid to piss off the ncaa. They say they can verify they did things legitimately.

Orlando Buckeye's picture

This kind of thing has me worried that more stuff was going on.  I don't know what.  However if no one is doing anything wrong, then tell the NCAA to screw.  I got the feeling that we agreed to a speeding ticket as long as the cops didn't look in our trunk.  I don't BELIEVE there was anything else, but I did worry.

Bucks's picture

While he is not against the University, he certainly didn't mince words in regards to GS in his interview on the day sanctions were released. For that matter, he didn't mince many words about the NCAA as well.

biggy84's picture

Would love to hear the interview.

Bucks's picture

You're warned ahead of time that it is a 18min segment done by the darling child of OSU, Bruce Hooley. If someone comes along that doesn't want to listen, don't.

With that being said, BobD is fairly open about everything & the process involved. His comments regarding GS and his feelings towards him are towards the end (although he talks about some timeline and challenging the NCAA with documention & Gene's attitude about it before). Direct link to the 18min segment below.

http://www.stationcaster.com/player_skinned.php?s=70&c=1411&f=326491

 

P.S. - There is one guy on there that almost blew my eardrums out with his voice. Feel like it should be included with nails on a chalkboard.

biggy84's picture

Thank you! No wonder i couldn't find it....Hooley'd   lol

biggy84's picture

Powerful stuff! A must hear for Buckeye fans!

Bucks's picture

Agreed. I'm certainly not defending the guy as a saint or anything close to it. He admitted in regards to the $800 that he is guilty & didn't mess around there. The other issue of pay, he defends. While I can understand his reasoning, still can't break those rules.

The guy has been helping kids with jobs since before I was born (and as he points out, he has done the same for other schools). I doubt very highly he has been a systematic plague that slipped through the cracks from Bruce to Tressel, like he has been made out to be. Although, he did mention a "falling out" with JT that raised my brow a bit. Have to wonder what was at root there.

 

biggy84's picture

The fact he employs athletes from other programs was interesting too! Thanks again!

hoff2811's picture

"really has me longing for NBA games like never before".......Really?  or am I missing some sort of sarcasm?  I mean, if you'd said reruns of the old ABC Wide World of Sports, or watching paint dry, or even Big Time Wrestling....I'd at least understand.  The NBA?

DJ Byrnes's picture

I love the NBA, as well as soccer. *shrug*

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

Luke's picture

The NBA's post season has been stellar the last three seasons. Say what you will about the laodicean attitudes of late during the regular season, a hungry league with a shortened season and a decent amount of player movement should amount to an interesting product by and large this year.

KJHILL42's picture

Sucks this is my first comment in the near 3 months I have been here, but I too love the NBA. I thought I was the only one anymore. 

Chris Lauderback's picture

Not the only one...just not many of us. I even like the regular season. Elite NBA players, imo, are the most overall gifted/talented athletes in the world. 

GlueFingers Lavelli's picture

I don't like the NBA now. I used to love it as a kid. I just don't like how only a handful of teams are competitive, and its all about the star player. It's not the L.A. Lakers, It's Kobe and the Lakers. I guess I just liked it more when the players were more mature, and they played defense, and played as a team. I don't think the NBA will ever get back to where it was in the late 80's through 2000. Just my opinion. Football has taken over. 

We should have a poll and rank sports just for fun to see where we are 11W. 

College Football, NCAA Hoops, NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB.

Dustin Fox was our leading tackler as a corner.... because his guy always caught the ball.

gneptuneproductions's picture

Yeah, like when the most gifted athlete in all of sports dominated the game winning 6 titles in that span! Great parity! :P 

Is it Saturday Yet's picture

I dig the NBA and will watch it 100X over baseball and I really enjoy tennis (grand slams). With all the insane moves made, a new look Cavs, etc, I'm excited. Hoping the Villian has a break out year. He broke someone's ankles the other night.

onetwentyeight's picture

This is a buckeye board. some of us are die-hard NBA fans. I understand not everyone enjoys it. That is fine. Leave us alone and spare the mockery. 

 

 

mastermiind's picture

NBA is dead. David Stern and Dan Gilbert killed it with the Paul to Lakers veto.

hgvyt54trtfvt56

DJ Byrnes's picture

NBA is enjoying record ratings for preseason games this year. The NBA is far from dead. But yes, David Stern is an idiot and as a fan of the Lakers, I am none too happy about having to watch the corpse of Derek Fisher and Steve Blake suck it up this year. (Although, Darrius Morris from Michigan has shown flashes in the two games I've watched!)

I'd also concur with Chris about NBA athletes. 

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

JakeBuckeye's picture

DJ, as a Laker fan, you are in extreme debt to David Stern for your 2002 NBA championship.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxTjOPImyts

Just saying. You can watch the other parts but part 6 is the most intriguing.

DJ Byrnes's picture

I don't have sound on this laptop right now, so I can't watch this until next week. I assume this is just more tears from Kings fans?

Regardless, I was in middle school/high school at the time. My mom is a big Lakers fan, and her and I watched every Kobe-Shaq championship in our living room together. It's definitely some of my favorite memories as a sports fan.

That said, if it were to ever come out that the fix was on during this game (and hell, it certainly could've been) I'd be more pissed about the tainted memories with my mom than I ever would about the actual rings. 

UNTIL IT IS PROVEN THOUGH: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

LadyBuck's picture

Funny enough, my father and his side of the family are huge Spurs fans. I would go down to Texas to visit, and my fondest memories were cramming into my aunt's house and watching it as a family. People were yelling at the TV, pretending they were at the game. I watched all of those championships from the couch, too (since my father never took me to the games despite the fact I was the biggest basketball fan in the family).

 

JakeBuckeye's picture

DJ, come on man that was fixed! It just makes too much sense and too many dots connect.

Is it Saturday Yet's picture

Isn't that the game where they linked the point shaving ref to? Loved me some Vlade Divac.

DJ Byrnes's picture

Damnit Jake! This is not the place for facts and/or logic!!!!!!!!!!!

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

onetwentyeight's picture

dead to whom? The massively huge international audience? It's only like the 2nd most watched league in the WORLD (to Prem league soccer). 

 

Arizona_Buckeye's picture

Sadly - they lived up to the implosion!!!  My god they are just horrible!  The only thing good I can say about them at this point in time is that the new uniforms and logos rock!!! That old helmet decal with Sparky gave me the creeps!  He looks like a greasy, cheesy slimball.

The best thing about Pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced

nltemple's picture

College players have been paid for doing little to nothing for services then may or may not have rendered. Turning on automatic sprinklers, watching ice melt, etc. The NCAA has to be altered and all their high priced underworked executives (you talk about getting paid for time you didn't work) the NCAA executives are the poster child for that very thing. Make the NCAA a functional support group of real administrators.

Noel Temple