Monday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on December 5, 2011 at 6:00 am
77 Comments
RT @Hermit_Thrush_: old joke: what did Delaware? She wore a brand New Jersey. merry christmas

Happy BCS Monday, everyone! I don't know what you guys are all complaining about. Personally, I think the BCS nailed it! A team who wasn't even the best team in their division is playing for the national title? Nice! Virginia Tech vs. Michigan? Where do I sign up? Clemson-West Virginia? AWESOME. Bret Bielema getting whooped in Pasadena? GIVE IT TO ME.

I don't know how anybody could criticize the BCS. Imagine the time we could save if we used this glorious system in every sport? Why waste time and resources to stage a 68 team basketball tournament? Why enjoy the chaos and upsets? Why not just use a shady computer formula to name the best two teams to play one another for a national title? And not only does the current system save us the trouble of staging a boring 16-team tournament, it also gives us such awesome things as the Beef O'Brady's Bowl! I think I speak for everyone here when I say, "Thank Heavens the Beef O'Brady's bowl came into existence! I'd probably be face-down in a ditch without it!" The only flaw I see in the bowl system: not enough of them! Only 10 teams in the dynamic Big Ten conference are going bowling this year. Only 10! 

But really, is there any better proof than the NCAA-BCS union to show college athletics is all about bettering the bodies and minds of the student-athletes?

MARK EMMERT IS A CLOWN. In this week's ESPN: The Magazine, which approximately 10 subscribers are patiently waiting for, Mark Emmert sits down for an interview. Reminder: there is a 99% chance this man makes more money than you do:

What would happen to the NCAA if you had four major conferences that decided to operate their basketball programs like their football ones -- without the NCAA taking a portion of the cash?

I don't know. I mean, I don't know why they'd want to do that.

This made me laugh out loud. And not in the internet sense of laughing out loud, but literally laughing out loud. "GEE, ESPN, I'D HAVE NO IDEA WHY THE UNIVERSITIES MY ORGANIZATION HAS SIPHONED MONEY OUT OF FOR 50 YEARS WOULD WANT TO CUT THE UNNECESSARY MIDDLEMAN OUT OF THEIR GRAVY TRAIN. I MEAN WHAT I JUST SAID, TOO: I HAVE NO IDEA WHY'D THEY'D WANT TO DO THAT." (Somewhere in his ivory tower, Gordon Gee chuckles as he sends his scantily clad secretary to re-fill his whiskey-on-the-rocks.)

CHAD MORRIS OVERCOMES URBAN FEVER. Clemson's offensive coordinator, who oversaw the Tiger's offensive revival this year, had been rumored to be a candidate for the same position under Urban Meyer since before Urban even excepted the job. Well, Chad Morris is staying at Clemson via a new contract, according to Dabo Swiney. Hard to think Morris would've enjoyed the same artistic license under Urban Meyer.

RT @brendlewhat: Boy Meets World, World Crushes Boy, Star Crushes World, Gravity Crushes Star, Entropy Crushes Gravity, Entropy Reigns ForeverHONEY BADGER DON'T ADHERE TO NO RULES

MICKEY MAROTTI, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS ON BOARD. Long been rumored to join Meyer in Columbus, Florida strength coach Mickey Marroti's departure from Gainesville was confirmed yesterday by Will Muschamp. This is a huge pickup for the Buckeyes, even if it was expected as Marotti is one of the best in the business and has a history with Meyer going all the way back to when they first met as graduate assistants in Columbus.

OKLAHOMA STATE ISN'T IN THE SEC. This startling revelation is brought to you by CBS' cantankerous troll-writer, Gregg Doyel. He argues since Oklahoma State isn't in the SEC, they were screwed out of the National Title game. I assume he was paid to write this ground-breaking revelation. America really is a swell country.

I got as much enjoyment as anybody out of Okie State kicking the tar out of Oklahoma. But, I can't feel too sorry for the Pokes. All they had to do was beat a lowly Iowa State team and they're in. Granted it was a weeknight game on the road -- but still -- IT WAS IOWA STATE IN THE SECOND-TO-LAST WEEK OF THE YEAR.

And yes, LSU would have beat Oklahoma State much like they're about to beat Alabama on a "neutral field."

GREG ODEN IS NOT GOING TO SOUTH BEACH. Greg Oden, who famously led the Ohio State basketball team to a heart-breaking national title game loss against Bill Russell and the Florida Gators in 1948, is expected to re-sign with the team that chose him over Kevin Durant, the Portland Trailblazers. His son, LeBron James, is decimated according to Chris Broussard's sources.

I've always liked Greg Oden and if his body ever stops betraying him, there's no reason he couldn't be a poor man's Dwight Howard on the defensive end. I'm glad to see Oden is staying away from the Miami Heat, but I think a change of scenery would be good for Oden. Still, I suppose he may feel some loyalty to an organization that has paid him millions of dollars while he's been hampered by injuries throughout his career.

BROOKS MELCHOIR GOES ALL-IN. The famed internet blog poacher sent Twitter into a frenzy by "reporting" Mack Brown will be forced out at Texas. When his sources and reports were questioned, Brooks then doubled down on his report.

Of course, Texas' athletic director was soon denying the reports. I feel as if Brooks' last shred of credibility hinges on this report. Will he bring shame to his site and his mother's basement? Or will his detractors eat crow? If you know anything about the enigmatic Brooks Melchoir, I think you know which scenario is more likely.

THE HONEY POT. The best photo of a high school principal ever... RIP Socrates... Mexican drug cartels are now using cell-phone tracking technologies to track their enemies... One of the best commercials ever... I guess this is one way to stop a fade to Calvin Johnson...

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