It's that time again. Truly exceptional captions might even earn a t-shirt.
So what your telling me is, that Tressel knew about this kid next to me having the flu, since LAST APRIL?!
Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty
Hello Brooks? Woody here. How'd you like to come say the word "hat-gate" to my face?
That's right general. Air strike's on Iowa City, Happy Valley, and most importantly Ann Arbor. Ready when you are.
Banned from ATO since June 3rd 2PMish PST
"What did I tell you about calling me at work"?
"Hi, Dominos? If it's not too much trouble, I need 25 pizzas sent to 530 South State Street Ann Arbor."
Please, be honest. This is for science.
....yeah apparently the kid saw "Not Another Teen Movie" last night and thinks he's Mr T. as the Janitor down here.
"Bring in the Gimp."
"Yeah...Seriously...This guy to my left..Does he not look Robert De Niro..Yeah..I thought so.."
I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.
"Yah, can you bring a couple of shovels down here. Seems like the players thought it would be funny to bury #22 up to his helmet in the turf."
"Does it sound like I'm on old time radio"?
Send down the four hookers we were promised to receive for playing this awful, awful team. This "player" beside me is too ashamed to call for them himself.
"Just bow up and go out and play." ~ D. Lee
"As it stands right now, I know I am the best athlete in college football." ~ B. Miller
Mr. Mayor, it's simple: when Michigan comes to Columbus, there better be plenty of empty slabs, in the morgue.
"Please quit playing that music over the P.A. system, Woody has threatened to drop trou the next time he hears it."
Gentlemen! Why don't we sign these hats, take them to the greengrocer, and trade them in for a carton of Chesterfields and a case of Harvey's Bristol Cream?
'Yes. More picnic tables. And a blanket. OK thx.'
Yes he's naked under the tarp and I swear there are no damn tattoos !
Buckeye born and bred. Buckeye til I'm dead.
Give me a play; we're going for two.
"Holtz, dammit! If you don't get these defensive backs in shape soon, then when I die I'm going to haunt you by making you co-host a TV show with the biggest piece of shit Buckeye hater you've ever met for the rest of your life!"
"He sold WHAT for tatoos?!?! I'll handle it"
And if you ever send this guy,
-----what is your name, son? Gordon Geek?
This guy Geek down to my sideline again, I will send him back to you with his head so far up his butt it will turn his tie into a bowtie" (click)
"Dammit boys, we're going for 3!"
"LCDR Hayes here...looks like we need to bring in the Chief and a few Marines...yes, to pound those sonuvabitch muskrats into oblivion".
"2014 National Champions...deal with it!!!"
Damn Hold music....
Is Jock there? Yeah, Jock. Last name Strap.
Don't text while driving.
"I don't care what you say, the guy on my left will indeed manage the Tampa Bay Rays someday."
What do you mean I'm allowed to throw the ball?
He's sitting here sulking because he couldn't go golfing with Pryor and Talbott.
"What's that you say? The kid behind me just picked his nose and you want to bet $10 that he will eat it. You're on!"
"Get off the GD phone and have 'em run Archie behind Pete 'til they get it right".--Woody
Long live the southend.
"Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that."
I am Groot - Groot
"Helmet? Can't seem to find it anywhere. You say Woody had it last?"
"What? Who? Sorry, don't know anybody named Cicero. Don't call this number again."
No, No. Glad you called. Whatever you do, dont send me an e-mail.
It’s unclear if there was a response from Tressel to the unnamed sender of the email because, as the paper writes, “the school does not retain email records that are more than three years old.”
listen, about them car deals you offered.
Hey Big Guy-- You may have made the universe in 6 days but I'll call the plays after that last fiasco!!
"Don't want to hear any bullshit but there is something besides 3 yards & a cloud of dust?"
Jim, it's Woody. Keep your head up.
Hello Mr. Presiident. Yes, I would be happy to go over to Nam again. Would you mind if I finished kicking the crap out of these stripe headed commie weasels first though?
On the wall guarding the North Coast from all Weasel invasions.
No, I said the ponchos need to be LARGER! What possible reason could I or anyone else have for asking for a Dodge Charger?
Shoulder stripes? I always thought the point of throw-backs was to make something the fans want to wear.
Yeah? He did?
Well, you tell herbstreit I said he can go f*ck himself!
Dammit Ann! Find the rule book for me and see if there's a way I can go for three!!!!
"3rd and 12?.......RUN DAVE."