It's that time again. Truly exceptional captions might even earn a t-shirt.
PHONE'S RINGING -- IT'S URBAN ON THE LINE
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According to Raekwon McMillan, Urban Meyer told him that "all great athletes have huge butts."
Meyer, like Sir Mix a Lot, is apparently focused upon derrieres.
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Ohio State Football: Now on Instagram
Proving yet again that this staff gets recruiting.
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Michigan's Footballs: Made in the USA, but Not in Ohio
Okay.
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WVU Baseball Steps Up for Moore, Oklahoma
After being prevented from helping in Moore, the team went on a shopping spree at Walmart to deliver supplies the next day.
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"Offer not available to Aaron Craft."
Steven Pearl, son of former Vol coach Bruce Pearl, has some fun in a local radio spot.
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Marc Loving Named Parade Magazine All-America
Two-time Ohio Division 1 Boy's Basketball Player of the Year picks up another award.
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- Joey Bosa = perfect OOS recruit!
- Wrestling: Stieber defeats #1 Ranked wrestler in the world at Rumble on the Rails
- Response to Johnny's "There's so much money going around, well, mostly"
- My Worst Ohio State Football Experience Ever
Active in the Forum
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- 2014 QB DeShone Kizer
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- Cal Game - Seats vs. the Hill
- Cavs win NBA Draft Lottery
- 2013 Reds
- God I HATE soccer.
- Quick Bits 5/22
- 2015 Offers/Commits *Updated 5/22*
- A Closer Look at the Michigan/OSU '12-'13 Recruiting Classes
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Comments
THE FILES ARE IN THE COMPUTER !?!?!?!?!
this is a ridiculously good caption.
Sh*t, look at those boobies.
vacuuming sucks
Ding 84!
"That Weiner fellow is very impressive"
So, that's my retirement plan!
Boxley
How does DOS work on this thing?
Exactly how bad is Joe Pa's vision?
I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.
Hey....Where's the "any key"?
"How do I delete that video of me shitting myself?"
Joey: "Which one"?
"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)
Who is Christopher Cicero?
Oh how nice, two lovely ladies eating ice cream out of a cup.... uh oh... wait a second........
"It's a double-barreled pistol that fires hard work and victory..."
The rest of y'all can stop now. It's over.
Yes, that is outstanding, unless you have seen it and then your stomach just turned.
vacuuming sucks
I think I just Googled in my pants
Fan of bacon since 1981
Apple iSenior...solving your coaching problems, one crap at a time.P.S. Even better: Apple iSenior - Yeah, there's a crap for that.
"Hey Fran, this email says that if I sign up for their newsletter I will get half off on Depends. Should I sign up?"
vacuuming sucks
"So THAT'S what a BCS National Championship Trophy looks like"
If Denard Robinson isn't careful with spooning all that food into his mouth, he's going to end up lookin' like Whoopi Goldberg
"Hello internet? Hi, it's me Mr Paterno. Can you please connect me to Mr.KiJana Carter? Yes, I'll hold"
pauses, thinks to himself, "how do the telephone operators fit inside this box?"
Banned from ATO since June 3rd 2PMish PST
Hubba hubba !! I'd like to put one through her uprights !!!!!
Someone get over here and show me how to use this space box.
We could barely find a screen big enough to fit the word "Paterno" on the screen for the font size JoePa needs.
The Ohio State University, College of Arts & Sciences, Class of 2006
The Ohio State University Moritz College of Law, Class of 2009
What the f$#@! is the internet?
YOU! IN THE BOX! COME TO PENN STAAAAAAA... I seem to have crapped myself.
"Consistency: It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup." - Despair.com
u..r..b.a..n...d.i..c..t...i...o.n..a...r..y.....c..o...m
B...l...u..m..p...k....i....n.......(clicks search)
"SUE!!! Sue come have a look at this and tell me what you think!!!"
If Denard Robinson isn't careful with spooning all that food into his mouth, he's going to end up lookin' like Whoopi Goldberg
"Damnit, I said use intimidating shout! Now we don't have enough mana to defeat this dungeon!"
"Anything easy ain't worth a damn." - Wayne Woodrow Hayes
CAN YOU HEAR ME MAD DOG!?!
This giant monitor is the best invention since those phones with the huge buttons!!!!
Linda...where is the delete button? I just go this email from some lawyer in Columbus and I'm not sure what to do with it!?!
Too soon?
"The files are in the computer? WTF do you mean the filll.......ohhhhhhhhh..
THE FILES ARE IIIIIIIIIIIIIN THE COMPUTER!!!"
"Winter is coming" - Urban Meyer
Honey, how do you work this toilet?
/Duff'd It
"400+ Victories - Do they call me '400 Joe'?"
"More bowl appearances than any other coach - Do they call me 'Bowl King Joe'?"
"In the College Football Hall of Fame - Do they call me 'Hall of Fame Joe'?"
"But crap in my pants in Ohio Stadium and look at what this *!#%* internet says....... "
Old joke I know, but just seems appropriate.
"Only a few more minutes and I'll be finished with Beaver Stadium in Minecraft."
I am going to use this time machine to award us the 1994 National Championship.
vacuuming sucks
What's a good screen name? Oh, I got it, M1EK sounds good.
vacuuming sucks
Well played.
tip of the cap
vacuuming sucks
It says here that the Ohio State head coaching job is vacant...hmmm...
man you guys have some funny captions in here. I'll think of something next week.
"Don't put syrup on shit, and tell me it's pancakes"
No matter how sh*tty the tour is, it's always tough to leave.
F5? What the f--- does F5 mean?
How did they know I was poopin' my pants.
"I am sorry little lady from Nigeria but they don't pay me that much."
Next email.
Ohio State Sports from the Field: BrutusReport.com
Damn, Betty White is smokin'.
vacuuming sucks
In which Joe Pa finds out Chatroulette is not a way to recruit those wonderful Pennsylvania youths Christopher Walken and Robert DeNiro.
Taquitos.
"Our PA plant came through, Jim is out!"
dude....
"Winter is coming" - Urban Meyer
COLDBUCKEYE has me in tears laughing. People are looking at me weird. And oh yea, there's this....WAY TOO SOON!
"W T F is Rebecca Black talking about?"
This is the biggest monitor I've ever seen! Where did you find a 20 inch monitor?? I didn't know they made them that big??
-The Aristocrats!
What are you doing here!? Give me that camera! No one must know I can use email - I don't want to end up like Tressel!
If they make stuf to remove eyebrows surely they make things to make them grow back.
I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.
JFC, what is this crap?! Hey Jay, how do I work this new-fangled digital type-writer?! I've got some nasty letters to write to your mot...never mind, I'll figure it out.
Recruit: "You're such a hipster with your Apple product and the glasses and the fact that yoiu always talk about how I knew things before other people..."
Joe Paterno: "Well I did just get a hip replacement, if that's what you're talking about."
So much win.
The Ohio State University, College of Arts & Sciences, Class of 2006
The Ohio State University Moritz College of Law, Class of 2009
"I think I just twattered."
"Dadgummit! 32-inch f***in' monitor and I still can"t see the Xs and Os."
I swear if this stupid tank screws up the damn pull again I'm not giving him any more f$&#ing heals. Let the whole damn raid wipe for all I care!
I'm sorry for not being sorry.
Joe Paterno really enjoyed his swag from the 1986 Fiesta Bowl, especially his Apple iPod.
dm @danwetzel Delany also says JPT knew since April. Have to check cache for deleted emails.
I will you use the Ebay and yes, you, TP#2, will sell me that Big 10 championship ring.
" Is Bang Bus two words?"
There using the metric system now? Thats the tool of the devil, my car gets 40 rods to the hoghead and thats how I likes it.
"2 Girls 1 Cup??? Sounds harmless enough."
+1
*Off topic* after hearing it mentioned several times I had to google it. Thankfuly I read enough before deciding not to click a link. I'm sheltered. What can I say. I get the WoW references though.
I don't always take names when I kick ass but when I do, they most often belong to a Wolverine.
JoePa: "What is this, I don't even..."
The Ohio State University, College of Arts & Sciences, Class of 2006
The Ohio State University Moritz College of Law, Class of 2009
Joe PA typing (his first Internet search):
A-P-L-e_4 _d-u-m-i-e-z
hits the backspace button several times and begins typing again.
d-p-e-n-d-s _K-u-p-o-n
His secretary walks in:
"Joe you shit yourself again?!?!?!?!"
" this is a crappy mirror"
So the Ohio State coach paid for the glass he broke....right?
Touchdown!
Bo Jackson
"It says here with a clever caption, I could win one of the new stylin' FICKELBALL Tees."
How do I get apple juice out of this contraption? The OSU game is tomorrow and I am feeling a bit irregular.
I have been known on occasion to howl at the moon. - Crash Davis
I said I wanted a "BIG MAC"....
"Jay, this nickleodeon is talking to me. Where did you get the last stash of medical marijuana from again?!"
"What station is Lawrence Welk on?"
"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)
"I can gain HOW MANY INCHES with one little trick?!?"
The height of human desire is what wins, whether it's on Normandy Beach or in Ohio Stadium.
"Internet porn? Bah! Back in my day (yes, really) I had magazines that you could buy at the store! Now, I have to pay annually for it? Damn you, Steve Jobs!!!"
/Duff'd It
Jay, go wiggle the rabbit ears, Judge Judy won't come in on this new T.V.!!!!!
Ok...let's see...
Google. Check.
Port-a-pottys in Columbus, Ohio...ahh, yes. Here we go...
*Dials phone*
Hello, King John Toilets? Yes, you're in Columbus, right??? Oh, good...Listen up, sonny. I was hoping to get one of your commodes delivered to the visitor's sidelines at Ohio Stadium on November 19. Still have bad memories of a visit there in 2009...
http://youtu.be/2vHPh-CO8jM
...And when we win the game, We'll buy a keg of booze....And we'll drink to old Ohio til we wobble in our shoes...
"no wonder Vitale does commercials for Hooters!"
"I'll be glad when I get those new contact lenses"
"they want the jumbotron back in Beaver Stadium now!?
Okay, Jay, I'll walk you through this ONCE more-- watch me closely this time! First you have to jump-start the boot process by opening DOS...
I'm fucking JoePa ... I can delete anything.
"I've been gumming at this apple for the last hour, and all I taste is mercury. Gave me Mad Hatter's Disease, it did! Reminds me of when I was 6, working at the textile mill. We used to have to un-jam the spools manually, and many a finger was lost. Speaking of chicken fingers, I had some with potato salad the other day that....zzzz*snort*zzzz..."
Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay $100.
Mamma Mia, This is Dick's Sporting Good!?!