He's got my vote, hands down...er...up.The other day I was thinking about how much certain coaches just get on my nerves. Maybe you have felt the same way, maybe not. But when I saw a story on ESPN and they showed a clip of Nick Saban it just made me grit my teeth. What is it about that guy that causes such a vitriolic reaction? I'm not sure, but as I thought about it, I realized that there are several coaches along the college football landscape that really irritate me, and Saban is not even the worst of them.
But I also realize that something like this is inherently subjective, and so what makes my blood boil might just get a "meh" reaction from many others. So I thought I would open it up to all of the dozen or so readers who don't immediately navigate away from the site when they see my name come up on the byline, and see who you think is the most annoying coach in all of college football. I'm going to list some of what I think are the main candidates, plus a short resume for your consideration. After that, I've got a few more names to consider and a few words about each of them.
URBAN MEYER
The fact that Meyer coaches Florida, one of my most hated teams, makes him a strong candidate right off the bat. Add to that all of his crybaby nonsense after being upset by Michigan 2 years ago, and you have a pretty good resume right there. Now consider the Spurrier-style histrionics on the sideline, the shameless lobbying to get into the BCS championship game back in 2006, the publicity-stunt-disguised-as-a-health-sabbatical after last season, and his profanity-laced tirade directed at a reporter earlier this spring, and coach Meyer takes the cake in my book. But maybe you have doubts? Well, consider the next candidate.
NICK SABAN
The main thing about Saban that annoys me is that he's such a shameless self-promoter and borderline pathological liar. While it is true that the man has been successful, it's bad for college football to have a person so obviously lacking in integrity at the top of the profession, both in terms of accomplishment and in terms of how much he gets paid. Nothing epitomizes the "win at all costs" mentality more than paying $32 million to have Nick Saban coach your football team. If there is a polar opposite of Jim Tressel in the world of college football, Saban is the man. The fact that his team is the reigning BCS champion only adds to the pain.
LANE KIFFIN
Where do we start with this candidate? Kiffin had one of the most spectacular head-coaching failures in NFL history when he was with the Raiders, but somehow he landed on his feet and got hired as head coach at Tennessee. While there, he famously accused Urban Meyer of cheating, was then accused of cheating himself by Steve Spurrier, and publicly shamed a recruit's grandmother, all before coaching a single game. Then there were the recruiting shenanigans, like using a smoke machine to stage a phony entrance on the field for one recruit (NCAA violation), announcing the commitment of a recruit via Twitter (another NCAA violation), staging a mock press conference for some other recruits (another NCAA violation), allowing ESPN to film a meeting with some other recruits (yet another violation), and then taking some recruits to a theater and having all the coaches rip their shirts off (just tasteless nonsense). Then he topped it all by leaving UT after one year to go coach at soon-to-be-sanctioned USC. Never mind the stupidity of taking the job at that time, but how does this guy keep getting prime coaching jobs? Must be his father's connections or something like that.
BEST OF THE REST
Here are some other notables that were suggested by my friends, followed by their credentials, such as they are:
Les Miles - Besides the fact that he coached against us in one of those humiliating bowl defeats, there's the fact that he proudly proclaims himself to be a "Michigan Man", the fact that he boasted about his "d*** strong football team" prior to the aforementioned bowl game, and the fact that he has a penchant for running up the score on opponents (including calling for a fake punt in a blowout bowl win).
Mike Leach - First there's the smugness of a guy who thinks he has the system-to-beat-all-systems (see Weis, Charlie), then throw in some whining about bad calls, stir in the over-the-top abuse of one of his players, and top it off with the "defiant act of insubordination" that got him fired, and you have a potent stew of irritating sludge.
Bobby Stoops - This candidate is well known for sideline histrionics (learned at the feet of the OBC), running up the score relentlessly on his way to an undeserved berth in the 2009 BCS Championship game, and grooming assistants to become irritating head coaches (see above). His highly publicized big-game failures have done nothing to reduce his ego, hence his inclusion on the list.
Brian Kelly - This candidate is working hard to cross into Saban territory with all of the denials and claims about how he was focused on winning the Big East, etc. Add in a bit of the Leach style "system" arrogance and the fact that he is now the coach at Notre Dame, and he makes the list almost by default.
Chip Kelly - In addition to the obligatory praise for his whiz-bang offensive scheme, this candidate has exerted extra effort in the off-season to put his name on the list. Aside from acting ignorant about his players' apparent lack of behavioral restraint, he also has one of his assistants basically accusing Ohio State of cheating in the Rose Bowl. Strong resume, indeed.
There were several other names suggested to me by my friends (JoePa, RichRod, Spurrier, etc.) including our own Coach Tressel (apparently his play-calling still grates on some, along with his not-so-interesting manner of speaking). But I think the list I have probably covers most of the major candidates. What do you think? Is Urban truly the most annoying? Or is Saban or Kiffin the true king of irritation? Did I exclude someone that you think should be there? Please add whatever you feel is appropriate, with decorum of course. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Comments
you left out the whole using God to recruit kids and I'll die to coach you thing....
kiffin far and away, hes a liar, a cheater, and everytime he talks he sounds like a 10 year old trying to convince you that he really owns a dinosaur.
I love Mike Leach. I don't care what he did or did not do to that kid, he makes me laugh every time.
Great list! I would like to write in a nominee from the basketball world. John Calipari is at the top of my list. The man is scum!
Meyer since he is just really shady, the whole "God wants me to coach you" line really put him over the top. Saban is just miserable and I don't see why anyone would want to play for him. Les just seems like a buffoon and I've got no problem with Leach, Stoops or the Kellys aside from some (misplaced) arrogance. Lane is like Paris Hilton, famous and in demand for no good reason and just due for a fall.
Tommy Tuberville can tickle my taint, as well. He's always mouthing off about Ohio State. It's like somebody forgot to remind him he isn't relevant. At all.
Urban should "win" this running away....
and If surfer Pete were still in the NCAA he'd be a close 2nd for me just based on location alone.
what are you talking about? he was great as Gandalf in LOTR.
Urban, easily.
Saban is more like an evil robot. Kiffin just amazes me that people keep paying him.
Personally I'm a Leach fan - I think he got completely screwed out of his coaching gig by an irrational parent who abused his job as a reporter to get him fired. Hope he does well in his lawsuit.
Leach was the guy that made me grit my teeth. The guy was so arrogant. It also didn't help that he basically blamed Mangini for Crabtree dropping in the draft (God, if you asked me 2 years ago if I ever would defend Eric Mangini I would have laughed in your face. Dad didn't really give me a choice of who I liked growing up. At least he got the Buckeyes part right). Anyway, I took great pleasure in watching his career go up in flames last year.
[Like]
What? No Slick Petey? Bailing on SC with the only parachute left on the plane after helping put Air Trojan into a steep nose dive? Then the doe eyed denials...feigning surprise at sanctions... I know he's out now, but Leach is too. Hell put Weis in there!
I can get on board with Urban as well. That video of him yelling at the reporter for only quoting somebody else really pissed me off. Not to mention the title game which still haunts me to this day (and I know I am not the only one).
Great list. I have no problems with any you included. Urban Meyer is by far my most hated. He has to be the most arrogant coach in America...aside from his good buddy Bill Belicheck.
It was right to leave OBC, JoePa, and RichRod off the list. Spurrier is irrelevant and sort of funny. He's like Leach, but he's actually won something. JoePa will just crap his pants. Too easy. Finally, RichRod is digging quite a hole for himself in Ann Arbor. In fact, that might make him my second favorite coach.
I would like RR to sign a lifetime contract. Early Christmas present to me.
Urban hands down
I left Leach in the running because I assume he's going to be hired by some other college in the near future. Surfer Pete and Cheeseburger Charlie are in the NFL now, at least for the time being.
Great idea for a story Joe. Next one has to be most hated fan bases. I would love to weigh in on that (Buckeyes are always on that list when I see it on other sites).
people hate what they want to be in some cases.
lookin at you, auburn fans.
Couldn't agree more. I'm still laughing at that one.
No DickRod hate? I truly wanna puke just at the sight of the man's picture, even before he coached scUM. But, in regards to the current list, Kiffin takes the cake. His likeness to Daniel Tosh is the only positive thing the man has going for him (besides the hot wife he most likely doesnt deserve) His dad is the sole reason I see for him getting ANY head-coaching job, let alone the prime time jobs he seems to keep backing in to.
Dear Lame Kiffin-
F&*# YOU
I think in a few years he'll take the top spot.
Good call on the Tosh look-a-like.
DickRod is more of a pathetic character for me right now. The guy has turned a traditional football power into a dumpster fire over night.
I would love to see that story
I agree. It's hard to hate the guy. At the '08 UM game in the 'Shoe I was sitting 4 rows behind the UM bench (Thank you JT!) We actually stopped trash talking. RR looked like he was going to burst into tears at any moment.
Charlie Weiss... I know he is no longer a coach, but it is annoying as hell when a guy wins exactly zero games against a highly ranked opponent in 5 years and is regarded an genius. Arrogant remarks, snubs, and outright lies.... he got outcoached and outclassed by JT in the Fiesta Bowl to the tune of over 600 yds of offense...LOL
He is funny.
That douchetastic 'tard deserved it. I want to send Leach a thank you card every year.
I figured I had picked on Michigan enough after my last two posts. But then again, maybe I'll have to go to that well again for my next post.
I also want to nominate Tommy Tuberville. If it weren't for his lobby in 2004 after taking Auburn undefeated, we might not have this out-of-control conference-wide SEC pride that makes us want to vomit. He was one of the first champions of the "our conference slate is so tough" argument that propagates scheduling Citadel in November (Florida), or even playing Citadel as part of an undefeated season as Auburn did in 2004.
Fast forward past his subsequent firing at Auburn, he was still one of the biggest pro-SEC jerks at ESPN. Today he's a coach at TTech, and has recently thrown the Big 12 under the bus in public, basically saying "the SEC does it better."
But of the members on the list, I'd say Urban Meyer is a safe bet. You made no mention of all the arrests/dirty plays on his team that resulted in wrist-slaps, including firing an AK-47 outside a nightclub, falling asleep at the wheel at a traffic light drunk, gouging a player's eyes on the field, Tebow taunting an Oklahoma player with a Gator chomp after a tackle.
BULLZEYE POST! Everyone of those coaches pisses me off to no end and I would be completely ashamed to call my self a buckeye if they were ever hired by OSU
Ditto, but I'll go with Kiffin as The King of Crud".
Miles was the guy who called a spike with :01 left and then blamed his QB? Yeah. Him. Meyer is oh-so-close with his recruiting shenanigans, but Les annoys me on the field so much more that I have to go with him.
Honestly though, I just find Kiffin and Leach hilarious. I've very glad they aren't anywhere near our program, but they are far more ridiculous than bothersome.
My buddy and I were talking about the ultimate douchebag coaches last year and I came up with a list, it's not quite a top 10, but Bowden and Spurrier are on the top of the list. Bowden's gone now I guess so it's not fair to bash him too much but how obvious is it that Red Boyou on the Waterboy was a spoof on Bowden.
When I made the list I had Weiss and Carol on too, but they are no longer in the college ranks so, we won't count them. It still gives me, Spurrier, Lane Kiffin, DickRod, Urban Meyer, Les Miles, and Nick Saban. Saban isn't so annoying as he is just a jerk. Kiffin, Meyer, and Miles are annoying as all get out. DickRod is just a massive shit stain on the underpants of college football. Everything about him is a mess.
Definitely Les Miles. As an avid Ohio State fan but graduate of Georgia Tech, I can't tell you how much that call irritated me in the bowl game. I mean, seriously?! The game was well in hand and that was about the most douche-tastic call I had ever seen! But he's a part of the SEC, can't expect sportsmanship from that lot.
Here is a list of my favorite NCAA coaches:
Tress
Joe Pa
Mack Brown
Jim Grobe
Bo Peleni
How about Kirk Ferentz just because he always seems to steal JT's Big Ten coach of the year award?
Agreed...I think his Bo Schembechler impression he tries to pull off when he speaks is embarrassing! I get douche chills everytime I hear him!
not meant as favorite, replied to wrong comment, and I don't know what I'm doing. Just ignore my idiocy
That's a pretty good list, I also like Richt down in Georgia, his teams may underacheive but he seems to be a good dude like Tress.
Didn't he want his team to get an unsportsmanlike like penalty called against them when they played Florida?
Anyone who is arrogant enough to claim God spoke to him in a dream about a football recruit tops my list. Frankly I hope karma gives him what is coming.
Also, is Tressel getting a new sweater vest this year? I can't find them in stores anywhere. Possibly a new design?
Tress is going to go argyle; next thing you know he'll be calling pass plays to the tight end or something.....
I hope not! The whole argyle thing that is.
Haha. This is funny. Three of the first four coaches listed are SEC, and the other is ex-SEC (thankfully.) Meyer and Miles in the top four - common thread? Both spanked the Buckeyes in recent BCS title games. No wonder they made the list. As for Meyer's "shameless lobbying to get into the BCS championship game back in 2006" -- wouldn't you, if you thought your team could beat the supposed Number One team in the country? And then proceed to humiliate them in the Big Game? No wonder Meyer is number one on your list! Hilarious.
Les Miles. Definitely. Too bad I couldn't vote for Perky Pete Carroll, now in the pros.
don't know if this is news or not....@schadjoe USC will release Seantrel Henderson from his national LOI today Lane Kiffin told me
1. Urban Meyer
2. Shelly Mather Meyer (Urban's wife)
3. Meyer's daughter #1
4. Meyer's daughter #2
5. Lane Kiffin
The mouth-breathing SEC contingent has arrived.
The SEC where the motto is: "My teams sucks, but I take credit for the ones who don't"
Great list. One add. I know its been a long time, but I have to put Coop on the all-time list. Yes, I should have gotten over it by now but I just have not been able to do it.
It crossed my mind.....
This coming from the girl who probably has "TEBOW RULZ" tattooed as her tramp stamp
Kim,
I could easily have added current SEC coach Bobby Petrino and former SEC coach Tommy Tuberville to the list as well. Are you saying that you are happy these guys are part of your (apparently) favorite conference? Would you let your daughter date one of them?
Just saw "The Blind Side" the other night, Sandra Bullock is bangin'. But I wanted to puke when Saban did his cameo, he almost had the Im too good for you attitude on the movie. I wish that guy would end up a cross dresser. Not that there's anything wrong with cross dressing, it'd just be funny.
Exactly Pam. Anybody from the SEC talks about the conference as if it was one big team. Stick to the school you root for and then we can have a constructive arguement. The chest thumping over the whole conference is pretty lame. I root for the big ten during bowl season but besides that I have tunnel vision on Ohio St. football.
Here's my list:
1. Les Miles, and its not even close!!!!!!! Ugh,that guy is awful.
2. Nick Saban just because he can't smile. Even after his kids won a national championship he just didn't seem happy enough. It was one of those "get the fuck over yourself" moments for me.
That movie turned out to be the most racist, degrading, and stereotypically outlandish movie I've ever seen. If it really happened that way, it validates everything I hate about the South.
@Kim:
If you like Les Miles than something is very, very, very wrong with you. All BCS losses aside.
#1 is every stinkin coach in the SEC. Saban, Urban, Miles and the rest all can be stricken retarded! Saban is a complete ass-clown, Urban needs to change his name to Oscar because he resembles a flacid weiner, Miles can go back to michigan and eat Rich rodriguez's stool sample. The rest can just go blow Mark Mays for even mentioning their names.
close second.....
Lane Kiffen. That jock fungus needs to get taken down a peg or two. Going around jumping from school to school like a frat boy in a sorority house. Eat nut dirtbag! You get what you deserve with those sanctions. What sucks is he will probably jump ship again. Bitch!
close third.....
Pete Carroll. Even though he is no longer in the college ranks, I still hope he contracts some sort of micropenis disease. Acting like he is joe cool out there in California, meanwhile he is cutting checks to each recruit. I hope he chokes on a chinchilla dick!
Kim H., you'll be hard-pressed to find a list of most-hated coaches that doesn't contain Lane Kiffin or Nick Saban. OSU hasn't played Lane Kiffin, and he was hardly an SEC coach. The reason he's hated has nothing to do with the SEC. The hatred of Nick Saban predates his stint as an SEC coach back to November of 1998 (I'll go no further, fellow Buckeyes, I know it's painful).
But thanks for giving us another reason to hate on the SEC as you sit here chest-thumping about it on our blog, citing a game that happened 3 or 4 years ago. You'll get yours one of these days...and guess what? It won't matter what team we beat, it'll be against the whole SEC and we'll never let you forget it.
Kim H = Urban Meyer?!?!
My Firefox search feature can't seem to find "Zook" on this page.
Seriously, I cannot stand watching Ron Zook pace the sidelines. I don't know if it's his face, his mannerisms, or his voice, but Ron Zook is the second most annoying coach.
Right after Urban Cryer...unless one day I wake up and find out he's the head coach at Ohio State. Then his tricks and style won't annoy me quite as much.
Or at least prefers it when her boyfriend wears jorts.
He is in the top 5. Good call Palm.
If and when he gets fired he would be a valuable offensive coordinator. When he left FSU they went to hell.
Hate on the family brother.
If we wanna add old coaches, I could never stomach John L. Smith for some reason. Dude reminds me of the Coach from Saving Silverman
His tirade in 05 was EPIC tho...
I thought about Zooker for a minute, but I just couldn't fit him him with all of the other great suggestions that I already had.
Truth. And he (or at least his current offensive coordinator Bobo) runs pro style offenses favoring a heavy ground game. He always seems like a pretty solid guy as well. But even with a new AD, I doubt he will be fired any time in the immediate future.
thx..... A useless blowhard with self-promotion as his biggest asset. He rode Bill Belichek's coat-tails (and illegal tapes of the other team) to a superbowl ring. The only thing to rival his ego and his mouth is his stomach. There are alot of buffet's in South Bend that were not sorry to see him go...... " Charlie, you been here 3 days, you eat too much, you go home now!!!"
His daughters could make a man out of me any day. No hate here.
Joe,
I could see that. There aren't any truly awful coaches on your list. Better to leave DickRod and Zooker off.
1. anyone who ever coached for Notre Dame. 'nuff said.
2. Nick Saban. what a lowlife. circulated a memo when at the Dolphins asking secretaries not to speak to him when they see him in the halls because he can't be distracted. totally agree with him not smiling at the NC game. that SEC shills brag on this guy is just more proof of how morally bankrupt the SEC is.
3. Urban Meyer. have we forgot that he made up a bunch of a "Florida is no good" trash talk/bulletin board material prior to the Desert Disaster? "God wants me to be your coach" could get you the Smite Button, and the ridiculous "I have to spend more time with my family, at least until tomorrow morning's practice" was an outrage. actually posted a plaque of Tebow's "quote" before the guy even left the school. a loser in so many ways - class, integrity, and honor.
Meyer's daughters are at least hot.
For old times sake...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
RE: Good shizzy. scUM may be 15, but let's not forget that State Penn "beats" them by coming in at number 10.
Zook reminds me of the insect man in Men In Black. Think about it, go back and watch the movie. It's the spitting image of Zook. Same mannerisms and everything.
Not on the list here, but Rick Neuheisel just rubs me the wrong way. He would be in my top 10. Also I have no use for Butch Davis. Too bad we limit it to just head coaches - Kiffin's dad would be on the list (what, me cheat?). And, Houston Nutt has to be on the list - 39 signees in his first year prompted the NCAA to rewrite the rules.
Not to get in the way of all this fine hatin', but Meyer (Astabula), Miles (Elyria), and Stoops (Youngstown) are all Ohio boys originally. And Saban is from West Virginia. Says a lot about where real football comes from.
I think if Tress ever retires, both Meyer and Stoops would be on the phone the next day. I'd be all for it, too. Now Miles, I can't say the same.
Zook = Bill Lumbergh
I bet he makes his assistant coaches file TPS reports.
Kiffen, for doing absolutely nothing and having a confidence that would befit that of his mentor Pete Carroll...Speaking of Mr. Hang 10 Carroll, I cant stand that he sat in his ivory tower at USC hanging out with Snoop and Will Ferrell, untill he saw the train comming down the tracks and decided to go to a "dream job" in seattle...riiiightt.(must have spoken to Coach Cal on how to pull that one out of his @ss)...and then their is Jesus's Homeboy, Urban Meyer...who recruits players via dreams sent from God and loves to play young innocent high school children by quitting, then not witting, then taking a leave, then def being back, then I never left...I HATE ALL OF YOU
Boozer must have called Bosh.
+ 1
Free agents ain't comin' to Cleve.
i would like to see LeBron cement his legacy as GOAT by finally brining Cleveland a championship, an almost impossible feat, just ask Browns and Indians fans....
Mack Brown needs to be on the list. All his campaigning and lobbying behind his "Aww Shucks" approach is quite annoying. Especially when they got an undeserved trip to the Rose Bowl out of it. It was so nice to see his lobbying fail in 2009.
I should also add Leach belongs nowhere on this list since he is the Pirate King, full of awesome quotes, and turned a pile of crap in Lubbock into a decent team. His allegations were against Craig James's son, who is even more rotten than CJ is. He's a hero. His system was fantastic for a place that can't get the talent to actually compete at the top levels. Sometimes when you can't get the talent, you need a few tricks up your sleeve (see Navy, for example). It may not work against the top teams, but you'll do better than you otherwise would have.
The top three are quite good, though. Meyer wins the contest. Too bad Bobby Bowden is gone, he would have made the list as well.
Or worse, put a cover sheet on them
Regarding Leach, don't forget about his whining about the officials after losing to Texas a couple years ago.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/...
Dude, your killin' me. I take refuge in Ohio St. blogs so I don't have to remember I am a browns and tribe fan.
Couldn't disagree more. His whining about Crabtree and his draft status was lame at best. I took great pleasure watching him get fired last year.
If ferry signed Boozer years ago they might have some rings. Boozer and Lebron is much stronger then Wade and Bosh.
living in Texas you can't imagine how tired you get of Mack Brown and his act. most Buckeyes (for some reason) seem to love the Whiney Orange and the Head Whiner but believe me -- he's hard to live with.
Oh noes, someone actually speak up to the corrupt Big 12.
I believe you. Just watching two minutes of him tires me out. But for some reason there wasn't a lot of anti-Mack sentiment in the comments.
Just win and you won't be so bitter........
Exactly...I'm the first to admit it.
SLUT
...did they get the memo?
Tampa, don't forget how Boozer screwed over the Cavs.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/...
I think the Rose Bowl itself deserves 100% of the blame for that. It was the bowl's own $$$ greed that spurned small-market Cal from playing Michigan that year, not Mack Brown's lobbying. I think there's been some major fallout behind the scenes between the Big Ten, Pac-10, and the Rose Bowl since that occurrence. They could have taken a top-10, 11-win Missouri team in 2007, but instead took #13 9-3 Illinois.
Apparently so, however the TPS cover sheets are so important, they need to be reminded on a daily basis.
Does anyone else remember the second Ohio State/Texas game, in Austin, when Mack Brown seemed to develop, somewhere between the 1st quarter and the half, a running sore on the skin above his upper lip? And how he couldn't leave it alone for the whole rest of the game? Was it a stress induced herpes outbreak? You can't "Aw Shucks" away herpes, Mr. Brown. No sir.
And let me also mention the awful shenanigans of one Mathew McCaughnahy during that game. Silly cheerleader antics. Thank God we won.
was at that game in person and it was just amazing. 80,000 orange clad fans absolutely silent. about 5K scarlet wearing fanatics going crazy. a great day. all was right in the world!
and 6th street afterward was amazing!
I can't stand RR. Love the fact that we kick his butt, but it should at least be competitive. The rival has lost its flare against him. I want to beat Michigan no matter what, but I want to beat them, when they're good, more! He's demolished that program. He's shameless (see West Virginia) and he seriously does not understand what THE GAME is about. For that, Rich Rod is at the top of my list. Followed closely by Lane Kiffin. What a tool.
I just don't understand how you could leave Rich Rod off your list. I know he sucks, but he has done so many sleazy things in his career.