AN UNNAMED PASSIONATE BUT SENSITIVE LION sits defeated, alone in a sea of endless, unoccupied plastic chairs. His look is emotional, but his scarf means business. He stares aimlessly at the checker boarded tile.
.........
In walks a DEVIL MAY CARE ROCKET SHIP PILOT TURNED NEUROSURGEON known to some as DECHELLIS with a five o'clock shadow begging for a night ending dose of Propofil for something, anything to relieve 40+ hours of a cat like state of readiness, consumed in thought preparing for surgical preciseness.
I'm sorry... she's gone. We did everything we could. In the end... It just wasn't enough.
*FAILING TO FIGHT BACK TEARS* But I... I just don't understand. It was such a routine procedure. The far from crack staff at Loyola (MD) were able to do it, and... *sobbing* THEY HAVE JUST A 22% SUCCESS RATE AT THIS!
I'm so sorry. Even when you've been doing this as long as I have, it never gets any easier. Once in a while, even in your finest hour, when you face a threat like the 2009 Indiana Hoosiers, without arguably their only viable, legitimate offensive threat in Maurice Creek... Well, just sometimes it's impossible to come out with anything better than failure.
I don't mean to undermine a neurosurgeon with 18 years of experience, but... THIS WASN'T EVEN AN APPENDECTOMY. I know, I know I never graduated from pre-med and all, but how did we lose the patient?! A patient that went 27-11 just one year ago and was one or two wins here or there from making the NCAA tournament. I mean, this team lost a close NIT Finals in Madison Square Garden. THE GARDEN! I mean, THIS was the game we were playing tonight. AND WE LOST:
...........
SAY SOMETHING! ANYTHING!
Well *nervous chuckle*, you know the old saying... An ass in lion’s skin is as rich as he is wise.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?
It's just that... My memory of the procedure was far, far different than the picture you paint. It was just like diffusing a bomb. As I recall, it looked an awful lot like this:
I cut the blue wire. All of them. The Dodger Blue, the Egyptian Blue, the Electric Blue... Even the Maya Blue! *chuckles* What was a guy supposed to do? *Adjusts tie*
There are no words.
I COACHED THE 1944 ALBANY ADMIRALS OF THE WORLD BASKETBALL CONFEDERATION TO A 92-4-1 RECORD. THE SEASON WAS FINE, THANK YOU.
Woah, Coach?! How did you get in here?
THAT SISSY CHANCELLOR NEEDS TO GIVE ME THE REIGNS. I'LL RECRUIT COAST-TO-COAST: FROM THE BANKS OF THE ALLEGHENY TO THE SHORES OF THE POTOMAC.
But wouldn't that encompass only like a small fraction of the Northeast United States?
..... WHEN WILL THAT ALGERINE NAISMITH STOP DODGING THE MIGHTY NITTANY LIONS? HE OWES ME A DOZEN COMEUPPANCES WITH A BIRCH ROD.
Comments
Now there's 60 seconds of my life I can't back!
Huh?
What in the blue fuck is this article supposed to be about because I'm failing to see the connection here.
I feel retarded for reading it.
Please don't turn into another EDSBS. I don't even think they talk about sports at that site anymore.
let me help out whoever is confused. give you the clifnotes of these malfunctioning joe pa robot reboot quite simply Penn State is LAME and SUCKS
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
The Penn State basketball team (who had potential this year) lost to a very bad Indiana team at home. Any opportunity to rub it in feels pretty darn good to me.
I'm not entirely sure what just happened here, but I enjoyed it.
If you need a place to hide when BHGP shows up looking for royalties, you can crash on my couch.
I think you missed on this one, Bub.
Penn State had no potential this year. I mean, that's just a lie, man.
If you want to make fun of us for sucking basketball, fine, but don't say we had potential to be good. We have Battle, several non-Mike Conley freshmen, Andrew "slow, white, and nerdy" Ott, and generally mediocre players.
Absolutely epic.
[applause]
Depends on how you define potential. They didn't have potential to be as good as your Women's Volleyball team or anything but there were hopes that they would make the tourney.
Typically when a team wins the NIT and returns their best player, an NCAA tourney bid is considered likely.
*get**
I think I just sharted.
Haha, everytime I see that picture of Joe Pa it makes me laugh.
Connect One? THAT IS EPIC!!!! AWESOME PIECE.
BHGP?
Me.
touche
Our best player (and certainly our leader) was Cornley last year.
I don't recall ever seeing such hopes. Seriously.
I agree. This is just some good old Friday afternoon mockery. At PSU's expense, of course.
Uh oh, the owner just showed up...
I thought it was hilarious. You had to kind of read the PSU rhetoric around their NIT Championship last year to get it. It was hardly as offensive as the anti-Pryor rhetoric last November, but it was still irritating -- as if the next Duke was about to be born.
I still find it humorous that they call themselves "linebacker-U"
Luke, nice job. The only suggestion I have is to expand the 'conversation' to include Tom Crean, and use Dwight Schrute's photo..
It really makes more sense, and is funnier, if you read it from the bottom to top.
Is that why Cornley's best option was the NFL and TB may go first round next year?
They've got NOTHING else to hang their hat on
And the stupid Rays hat isn't a "look at me" thing, is it?
Women's Volleyball heh
i'm a huge women's vball fan.
i don't know about that...joe pa found something to hang a ref in effigy from.
Oh, yes. Let's not be funny here. Go to tWWL you retard.
re: duron carter
i usually don't trust athlete interviews at all because a) no one is ever that calm and dignified when speaking casually unless you're a 50 year old tax attorney or a robot (like peyton manning), b) contrition interviews are always edited to make the interviewee look good, and c) the difference between what's said live and what's printed is ridiculous.
WITH THAT SAID; huge huge props to duron for standing up and talking about this like a man. "i got lazy and screwed up, it was stupid and it was my mistake and it won't happen again" is pretty much exactly what i wanted to hear. good luck duder, get your grades in order and get back with the team ASAP
Hey VN! I've got your mom's penis between my legs. She wants it bad. Worse than a Paterno eye exam. Alverez changed his haircut after he saw her. Ron Zook broke her pelvis. Etc, etc. I could go on about tearful revelations and well, f u. Just on principle. What are you supposed to do in the off-season?
although i'm always suspicious when i hear "pretty much exactly what i wanted to hear"
Looks like there are still a few readers that don't get Luke's sense of humor. They probably wouldn't appreciate this either.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
Luke.... WTF??????????
This rap shit is our house you bitches just visitin
Young money wolverines bitch NO michigan!!!
~Just thought I'd add a little anti-ttun hate on the board~
Young Money's words, not mine. Even tho I agree.
He is hit and miss with me. But I appreciate the effort, always nice to read something thats a little different.