Woody: "I just hope I get out of the game before I shart myself on the sidelines."It wouldn't be a big game without a Guess the Score contest and/or a photo caption Thursday. This week you get both.
For any newbies or those simply wanting to stroll down memory lane, feel free to take a gander at your past installments if you need a good afternoon laugh to ease the gameday's-a-comin' nerves in your midsection.
Comments
No Joe, sharting all over yourself and being a smart ass with the media does not make you a crazy old man. You've got to deck and opposing player to reach legendary crazy old man status.
Of course your gonna lose today Joey, we aren't Pitt.....
JoePa: "Imagine this pitcher of tea is really a gallon of your feces."
[JoePa pours pitcher of tea with lemons into diaper]
JoePa: "See how its super thick protection allows for maximum absorbency without leaking."
Woody: "I'm impressed. Oops! I Crapped My Pants can hold a lot of dung."
JoePa: "And get this - Oops! I Crapped My Pants are biodegradable. Now that's good for the environment."
Woody: "Hey, how do you know so much about Oops! I Crapped My Pants?"
JoePa: "Well I'm wearing them.. and I just did."
"Keep smilin', Joe...i'll knock the shit out of you too...literally"
Joe, ever the optimist, knows his Depends' are only half-full.
**A high-pitched, drawn-out squeaky fart**
Paterno -- Holy cow, Wayne. Did you just shit yourself?
Woody -- Hahaha no!
Paterno -- Hahaha! Too bad. That would've been hilarious.
So, Joe, where do you get your designer frames?
Hey Joe, i see you go to the same dentist as I do.
"I'll tell ya what , Joe. We'll let your little school in the Big Ten as soon as you can act like a big boy and quit crapping your pants."
Do you think either one uses "Shirt in a Can?"
EWWW!!! It burns!!!
--Yes, that burning sensation is your body telling you, "You have a shirt on."--
Woody: ...and then I crapped my pants, Joe. I was so god-awful embarrassed that I promptly showered after the game and answered the press's questions in the nude. IN THE NUDE!
JoePa [thinking to himself]: Oh god. I hope that never happens to me. My penis is too embarrassingly small to take questions in my birthday suit.
Woody: "Who let this Italian F--- on my field?"
Just heard Archie Griffin on Dan Patrick show.
Archie Griffin: "Scarlet and Grey is the dress for the day!"
GOTTA LOVE IT!
he forgot to include "help is on the way"
epic rhyme
Sure glad we hit the 2-for-1 sale at For Eyes.
Looking at Sam's rundown of the conference away game winning streak, I have to ask..."How the F*ck did we lose to Purdue?" Seriously.
Seems like every time OSU is about to break a wins record, they lose.
I saw Big Don (aka rappin bum) on High Street the weekend of the Minnesota game. Still hustlin'.
I didn't see him when I was back in September. glad to hear he's still around.
oddly enough, i saw the incense guy in down town LA maybe 6 weeks ago.
Big Don? Wow! Still got that old Mcdonalds cup?
63-14 PSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cryor is pulled in the second quarter, quits football and admits to a long-ter affair with Katzenmoyer that predates his recruiting decision. NCAA investigates and takes away 42 scholarships after evidence of beastiality surfaces. OSU shuts down its program and the only real program in Ohio (Miami) is asked to take their place in the Big Ten. Soon OSU is no better than a local community college, oh wait, that's already the case. The rest will happen though.
Go back under your bridge troll.
Woody: Jeff Goldblum! I loved you in Independence Day!
"Ay Wood, that Schembechler's a real stunad aint he?"
"no no I'm serious, that's what the gypsy told me: in 40 years I'll be dead and you'll have pooped your pants on national television. I'd hate to be you, Joe"
I'm sorry you contracted AIDS from our coach. Maybe your coach can stop pooping his pants long enough to help you with your problem, or at least beat a half way legit opponent. But hey, good news. Sister Mary's school for the blind has an opening for week 3 next season. You guys should try for a home and home.
and even better in jurassic park. the "god creates dinaosaurs..." scene is classic.
Woody: Yea, that's right Joe, a Cleveland fuckin' steamer! I told ya that Mrs. Scembechler is a freaky broad!!!
Um, this is the wrong post. You wanted the one on the 4th. I don't think 63-14 has been taken yet. Although, I doubt you'll win the jersey.
"So, all of a sudden, there he goes... jogging through the endzone towards the locker room while the game is going on... and he's wearing a pair of tan pants. About 20 minutes later, here he comes jogging back to the sidelines - but now he's wearing a pair of GRAY pants... I'm just saying!"
"Yeah Woody, I actually crapped my pants. That's why the students come to Penn St. They're into that crazy kinda stuff. Someone called me a dirty sanchez, but I don't know what that is...."
I HAVE A BONER.
NOT IN THAT PICTURE PER SE, BUT MORE IN GENERAL
JoePA: "Hey Woody, you feel that? Sort of tickles when shat trickles down your leg." Woody: "LOL, ya but I was concentrating on coughing then when you said to turn my head."
And no extra credit for the other predictions.
PooPa: Hey, Woody, my diaper smells like Ann Arbor.
Yeah, it's a great haircut Joe but I'm telling you, this hat thing is going to be big.