With hate week in full effect, we thought it best to give you all a chance to show your wit via another prize-free caption contest.
I'll defer to the experts but I can't help but wonder if I just saw Tress whisper, "Hey, Dick, I regret to inform you of this but I've never lost a recruit to a dude sporting a leather collar and sleeves."
Comments
Tress: "But no seriously, I know you think its funny, but sniffing my jock every november is no way to land those big recruits, just an fyi."
you may want to borrow the carhart jacket on the guy walking through the door. you know, class your outfit up just a little bit.
"Heeeeyyyyy, come on Jimmy. Just a few dollars. Come on man. I got this sweet business proposition. I can't lose. PROMISE I'll pay you back. ... No, seriously, snake oil man. I'm telling you, it's awesome."
"I told them that I understood the Rivalry because I have an "I hate Ohio State button" on my desk and they bought it. Can you believe that? At this rate you will even up the Rivalry in no time.
Ok...Just One More: Tress "Seriously, did you just shart your pants, its no laughing matter. "
"Rich, no question all those little dudes you recruit will pan out in the Big Ten. Your decided pipsqueakatic advantage is going to give us fits."
"Well, Rich. You know what this means. Ass-kickings. Lots and lots of ass-kickings, and so forth. Nothing personal."
"Welcome to the Big 10 Rich. Prepare to be owned. Oh, and buy the way, you're WAY to country, and that ain't how TP rolls..."
"You mean you still recruit defensive players Jim? HaHaHa"
RichRod: "I have this grin, because I just bought some really good tweed off the guy behind us!"
JT: "That will explain it in a couple of years."
"Hey Jim, mind holding onto these workout logs for me?"
Well, you know, that's a nice enough offense you got there Dick, but amateur hour is over. Why don't you take that read option back to the Big East where it belongs.
"Smell that Jim?"
Rich: Can I see your Championship ring again, pretty please???
Coach Tressel: Ok, once more and that is it.
Well Rich, I sure hate to put you in the unemployment line after this one, but Pryor and my boys are going to put a real ass kicking on you and so forth.
Tress: "Can you believe people think I am interested in anything you say."
RichRod: "Hell I am not interested in anything I say."
Rich- ".... and then he said 'I promise i'll get my seniors to a bowl game.' Haha... oh to be young and stupid."
Listen Jim, I have no friggin' clue what a Michigan Man is. BUT, I do have this new offense that's going to put the Big 10 on notice!
tressel: looking in his coat handing something to him states, "red toyota 2nd row"
dickrod: "i ain't one of those fancy valets"
tressel: "give it a year"
dickrod: "whats that mean, we have a rivalry or something while i was cleaning some guys desk found this "beet ohio state" button" beat spelled wrong scum spelling classes
tressel: "you sure are dumb and smelly and for christ sake buy a suit or trade even up that new members only jacket with one of the bums that enhabit that thing you call a campus"
dickrod: finally realizing he is graced in the presence of greatness "yes sir"
tressel: "thats better, dont worry i will have the second teamers in sometime in the 3rd"
dickrod: "thanks"
tressel: "no problem, now go get my toyota"
dickrod: after getting tressel's car and recieving proper "tip anything else?"
tressel: "stay out of the cat box!!! stay out of the catbox!"
Listen to me son. It's not your fault... It's not your fault... It's not your fault...
take two:
RR: So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yarbles!
JT: Wow! You West Virgina hillbillies are something else.
JT (being a gentleman): "Nobody else in this league repects you and I hate to say that I don't either".
JT "Remember Rich, always address your superiors with the salutation "sir""
RR "Yes sir, it won't happen again sir"
DickRod: "So Jimmy, what do you think, you wanna borrow my wife for the night?! $150....cemmmm onnn!"
JT: Ehhhhhh......gonna have to pass Dick, how do you sleep with that hair?
"what is that intoxicating smell?"
"I have cats"
"meowwwww"
"Jim, let me tell you what Barwis did to me next..."
Rich: I'm guaranteed to get TP. I've got sex panther on tonight. 60% of the time it works every time!
JT: Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.
Well hell Dick you sure don't like Mexican
"Rich, I'm going to stand here and piss on your shoes. And you're going to like it."
smells like a diaper full of Indian food
IT SMELLS LIKE BIGFOOTS DICK!
i was hoping someone would follow with that. you never let me down. haha
Tress: "And that, son, is how the game is played. Now get your goofy, dumpy imbred ass out of this gym cuz Pryor is ours!"
"Hey Rich, Welcome to the B10. I sent your wife a lovely cheetah skinned outfit. Maybe she can wear it when you get introduced as coach."
RR: "20 hours a week? You gotta be shittin' me!"
JT: "We'll to be honest Rich, I've never really been in that position before. You should talk to Zook."
Well golly gee there Rich. I know you and your boys and all those fine seniors you have are just gonna come out and give 100%. But I'll tell you one thing, I bet this here rivarly makes that one you had with Pitt look like a mouse fart in a huricane.
"I hear you got a lucky nut in you pocket. What does it take for a guy like me to rub up on it."
I take that back. Judging of the facial expressions. I think Tressel is hiding a baseball bat. "......what give me joy...Baseball....teamwork..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
JT: "A douche bag says what?"
HA!
"You've talked to Lloyd, I'm sure. So you know how this is going to go."
Tress: "What's your back up plan if you don't land Terrelle Pryor?"
Rich Rod: "...."
Caption II: So that's why every time Lloyd Carr walks in the room ... Oh, wait. shit. Here he comes, just act natural."
*scene: beside the bleachers at a Big Ten fundraising event at a local high school*
RR: JIIIIIMMMMYYYYY!! how's my ol rival doing?
*fakes punching JT in the gut, laughs it off, rubs JTs head*
run any option recently JUST KIDDING OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T eh heh heh heh just foolin jimmy nice to see you, how's the family?
JT: hello richard, they're doing just fine, thanks for asking. my youngest just h-
RR: WOW that's great, hey check out this new jacket i got. LEATHER sleeves.
JT: very nice.
RR: the rest of it isn't leather though
JT: yes, i noticed that.
RR: that's what makes it cool.
JT: yes, it's very nice. well, i think it's about tim-
RR: WOAH fuck I AM STARVING, hey do you wanna chilidog before we start here, by the way i saw some coed hotties in the hall, think you can wingman for me? rita's cool with it probably, and damnnnnnn
*RR accidentally hip thrusts in the direction of a small child, who begins crying*
JT: richard this is a high school.
RR: aw i know, it's AWESOME, right?!? anyway: chilidog? you in? out? in? out? in? out? in? out? in? out? in? out?
*JT stares blankly at RR*
RR: ....iiinnnnnnnnnn?
JT: well, m-
RR: out?
JT: well, my wife has been asking me to watch my caloric intake, and really unless the bun is whole wheat i probably shoudn-
RR: PUSSY!! ahahaha you know i love you jim
*RR slaps JT on the back, dislodging his glasses*
RR: anyway i guess we're on, time to do more of this stupid VFW fundraising bullshit or whatever the hell it is. unwed mothers? oh who gives a shit. peace out jimmy.
*RR holds up peace sign, then drops index finger*
RR: YOU OWE ME A CHILI DOG YOU FUCK!!
*RR laughs and runs off*
*JT sighs, adjusts his glasses, and pulls out a small pad of paper which he painstakingly writes something on. he smiles inwardly, but before he can return it to his coat pocket, he's jostled by a member of the crowd. frantically, JT looks for the pad, but alas: it is gone*
~~THREE HOURS LATER~~
*a janitor is cleaning the gym after the event, when he spots a small notepad. opening it up, he finds only one, furiously written phrase inside:
DESTROY
MICHIGAN
FOOTBALL*
fin
Hahaha
RR: "You're joking...reallly??"
JT: "Yup it's true, once you hit 50 it all goes downhill."
RR: "Well, how do you get it up again?"
JT: "Usually I just have Ellen stick her finger up my ass..that usually does the trick."
RR: "Ha Ha....."
JT: "I'm serious Rich."
RR: "....."
winner winner, chicken dinner
JT: Nice mitten state tuxedo denim Dick
DR: Thanks I got it on sale at the Wal-Mart
JT: I was being facetious Dick
DR: Oh that's a big word, is that like when I said I didn't shred player files at West Virginy
JT: No, that would be a lie.
DR: (Laughs)
RR: Well his name, look, and play all are a bit like taint sweat
hahahahahaha good one. Tha had to of taken all day. Can you please point me to any proff of RR shredding documents?
Usually Shredding documents means the proof has been destoyed.
Tress: Do you know why birds fly upside over West Virginia?
Dickrod: No
Tress: There is nothing worth shitting on...
Dickrod: Ya, I know that.. That is why I left.
Tress: I guess if a bird was to take a shit, Michigan is as good as place as any..
Dickrod: What do you mean?
Tress: You are the Bird and the pile of shit is your footabll team. You see the irony in that?
DickRod: What?/?
shhh, you'll confuse him.
Well I pissed off a TSUN fan, my work here is done :)