Rob Rose's Posh New South Campus Digs
We all know this isn’t Ray’s first grammar rodeo, so to speak, but Rob Rose? Et tu Rosé? After we just got through giving (admittedly false) hope to all the poor souls who actually purchased Brian Hartline (<3 u B-<3) schwag?
Our amateur sleuthing has turned up the real origins of Rob Rose’s recent academic improprieties.
Many know about his multiple sack performance against some of the nation’s best young talent, but what managed to slip under even the radar of even the most ardent Buckeye followers was Rose’s 3 consecutive terms in the Nevada Supreme Court.
While most are aware that “What Happens in Vegas...” is long established jurisprudence going back to the famed Stephon Marbury v. Holly Madison, the rest of the state operates under far more traditional rules of law (though curiously enough these guys also serve on the state’s highest legal body). Rob Rose’s heraled speed off the edge through security clearence at CMH made appearances at both Ohio State practices as well as important legal deliberations possible, but left little other time for undergraduate course work.
In addition to a longstanding legal career, the honorable Judge Rose found time to start one of the most obnoxious, shameless forms of self promotion out there (Digg! this article!!#) today. Under the clever pseudonym "Kevin", Rob created what at times has been one of the more traffic generating sites on the internet.
Despite lacking the weight (or appeal) of the Twitters, Facebooks, and Craiglists of Web 2.0, Rob’s dedication to seeing stories about topless robots and the top 10 movies that want to get drunk with you get their 15 minutes netted him a handsome, cool $60 million dollars, making the necessities of a college diploma or NFL riches simply luxuries . Besides, what good could higher learning possibly do for a man who’s entire education came from dozens of non-sequitur articles recommended by hundreds of his closest friends?
Finally, since setting himself up for life (and some of the coolest forms of transportation available to the general public 15 years from now) and at long last stepping down from his elected judiciary position, Rose has settled into a quiet life of patent prosecution, intellectual property and antitrust litigation. A lengthy scholastic resume that would make George O'Leary blush made it easier yet for Rose to continue to fool himself into justifying ignoring his academic obligations back in Columbus.
While we certainly wish #9 the best in his future endeavors, be it in under the watchful eye of a jury or the cheers of a 105,000 strong, we certainly also hope none of those intimidating, fancy legal specialties he professes to practice include, oh I don’t know, looking into photoshops of images of said once-and-future defensive lineman easily accessible by the general public or, hmm, say, legal profile screen shots of an actual attorney’s resume being used for satirical purposes by a mildly successful, highly juvenile sports weblog (who’s cumulative assets total zero, mind you!).
Thankfully, Political Science 609 (a class ironically Rose missed more often than we did) taught us all the ways in which public figures could be subject to satire, and we know Mr. Rose’s stout legal background would justify certain behavior as such. Though should Rose decide retribution were in order for say, blowing his now not-so-secret secret identities, any further complaints can be taken up with 11W legal.
Comments
I'm so confused...
what the hell is this article about?
Ya I have no idea what this article was about. Is this kid a millionaire or is it a joke? Is he really a lawyer and all that or is it a joke? What was the whole thing about his blog? Haha seriously somebody help me cause I don't understand.
Tone it down a little bit here man. I think you tried to hard to be clever and witty, leaving most of us in the dark on what really is going on with this guy.
looks to me like they looked up some other robert rose to give a funny post about why he isn't getting his work done in class.
This is the worst 11W post yet. Bunch of garbage about nothing.
In the film industry...this article would be known as working overtime!
Ex. of working overtime in film: Commando, starring Arnold Swartzenegger
(sp?) not only did he just break that guys neck in 3 places, but he also found it necessary to throw him off a three story building.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled, confusion inducing, 11W article by Luke.
I love 11W..... but this is the most poorly written and most confusing writing ever posted on this site.
DUMB!!!!!
Agreed!! This guy sucks!! What a hack!
LOL like your sense of humor guy
Luke you don't seem like a bad guy, but this reeks of wanna-be EDSBS content. It just doesn't jibe with the tone and style of the rest of the blog. The natives are getting restless.
I would still like to know Rose's situation. Will he ever get in the hall?
For what it's worth, I really like the picture on the blog.
So... are Rose and Small academically ineligible?
if the Hartline #9 is not a good recycle for Rob Rose, how about the Duron Carter #9...i think that'll be just as good?
A little confused here, can anyone on this site please tell me the status of one Robert Rose and Ray Small? The picture above appears to be Rob Rose in tressells "dog house" aka Ray Smalls crib. Although, I keep reading the word ineligible? Wouldnt that put them in a place a little lower than the "DOG HOUSE"?
Interesting that ESPNU just released their Top 150 rankings and landed Jordan Hicks at #2. I have my doubts he ends up at OSU (I think he'll be a Longhorn), but Duane Long knows more about this than I and he is pretty certain Hicks will be a Buckeye. OSU targets Seantrel Henderson comes in at #4 and Joyner at #12.
IT seems to me that ESPN's take on things is always different than Rivals and Scout. I don't know if they do it to just be different or they just don't put the resources into having people running around to high school games and practices.
Great point DS. I keep forgetting Lil' Carter will be rocking the nine as well.
Jordan Hicks is a BEAST. Period.
Can Tress take current players on recruiting trips? Like taking Pryor and Sabino down to watch Jordan Hicks?
Yes, #9 good for a while.
maybe they should just go on down 'on their own'
Luke, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
HA, nice billy madison reference!
Thank you Captain Obvious
very UN-Elevenwarriors...borderline annoying
I realize Luke's writing style will be frustrating to some of you, but that's exactly why he's here -- to present a different facet. His previous three posts were all well received (reusing Buckeye jerseys, a look at the 2009 line and a piece on Big Ten Media Days), so maybe the criticism is a little unwarranted at times.
Look at it this way, if you don't particularly care for his style of writing, you can still read posts from five other writers that might be right down your alley.
Haha. Well I just got done reading through all the comments and had a good laugh. Overall, I'm worried too many readers on here have taken this way too seriously...
You win some and you lose some right? Kudos to Luke for living life on the m-f'ing edge!! 11Warriors still kicks ass and while this particular blog post nearly gave me a seizure, I still can't help but refresh this web site upwards of 20 times a day for more gold.
I continue to get my buckeye on in Portland, OR.
Okay, a simple "no" would have done just fine.
I haven't heard this kind of piling on since the national media started ripping the b10!
Luke, fight the power!
Well done, Eleven Warriors.. I laughed through the entire article. Bring on the ironic parodies that fly right over the heads of most fans..
The comment section is almost as entertaining as the article itself.. This is is priceless:
"Ya I have no idea what this article was about. Is this kid a millionaire or is it a joke? Is he really a lawyer and all that or is it a joke? What was the whole thing about his blog? Haha seriously somebody help me cause I don’t understand."
Shah! The whole thing smacks of effort.
I absolutely love this style of writing Luke. I am a bit disappointed in the comments from some tOSU fans on here (as I am also disappointed that some fans "couldn't understand this" ....... is our fan base that ignorant to satirical comedy?)
If you don't enjoy it don't read it, not everyone has the same taste. But do yourself (and our fan base) a favor and keep the rude comments to yourself. It just represents tOSU fans as uneducated and classless.
And if you simply don’t understand satire, well try reading some Chaucer, Jonathan Swift, or just watch the Colbert Report. They will give you a better understanding of satire.
I completely disagree with you on this matter. Especially since you replied with your own rude comment to the posters who were confused with your snooty statements about your higher intellect. If Luke can't take the heat from a loyal fan base then he should just quit writing, in which I hope he doesn't because we all flop at least once. I was confused at what you were trying to get at Luke, but keep trying.
Buckets, my comment was not meant to be rude, and I assure you I do not regard myself as having a higher intellect than anyone else (as it took me the better part of a decade to get my BA from tOSU).
I was being serious when I offered the comment:
"And if you simply don’t understand satire, well try reading some Chaucer, Jonathan Swift, or just watch the Colbert Report. They will give you a better understanding of satire."
I was afraid it might come across as a jab, but I promise you it wasn't. I chose the writers because I had to read some of their work for literary courses in college and some of their stories have stuck with me (I have not attempted to read any of their work outside of school).
After I sent the comment I wished I had included Southpark because it is something the majority of people my age would have seen and the creators are actually terrific with satirical comedy (in their show and Team America).
Yeah buddy, I understand that Luke is doing satire; the problem is, Luke isn't very good at satire. Doing what Orson does is incredibly difficult and Luke falls far short of content that is worthy of 11W. I would fall far short of that metric as well. But then again, I'm not a writer on 11W. 11W is my favorite Buckeye blog, but Vico at OHD comes in a close second and the content he produces all on his own is extremely impressive. There are competitors in the Buckeye blog marketplace, and good ones at that. 11W should be interested in protecting its brand, a brand that is only as good as its reception by its consumers, and when you have a bad product according to the tastes of your consumer, you get rid of the product or significantly improve it. I haven't seen improvement yet in Luke's writing and so I'm wondering why 11W keeps going down this path. The other 11W writers are stellar (my personal favorites are Jason and especially Joe), but I don't think Luke measures up to them, which is no real insult because most of us wouldn't in the first instance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...
Wil,
Never apologize to the average uneducated classless fan who claims to be a Buckeye.
Luke's post was spot on hilarious! It is true, many of the fans who read it are confused. If they can't take the time to understand it, then they should not bash it. And, Luke did not flop.
If Buckets and his ilk cannot take the heat from a loyal fan who disseminated some intelligent comedic writing... then he/they should just quit living. Watch TV all day, vegetate, and pontificate about their usual nothing. Or, just stick to their comic books.
I posit, that Luke is a better writer than the other hooligans who contribute to this blog.
Go Bucks!
Matt,
"There are competitors in the Buckeye blog marketplace, and good ones at that. 11W should be interested in protecting its brand, a brand that is only as good as its reception by its consumers, and when you have a bad product according to the tastes of your consumer, you get rid of the product or significantly improve"
Are you paying for these blog posts? Do the owners/writers for 11 warriors make a living from the readers of this blog?
If not, your argument does not hold water. If so, then apply the 80/20 Rule. 20 percent of your customers do 80 percent of your business.
Which means, a few (20 percent) are vital and many (80 percent) are trivial. So, a savvy business owner or manager will focus on the 20 percent that matters. The 80/20 Rule, should serve as a daily reminder to focus 80 percent of your time and energy on the 20 percent of that which is really important. Don't just "work smart", work smart on the right things.
I doubt you are the type of person who falls into the 20 percent category. So, you and some others could be dismissed; with out any ill effects to the owners/writers of this blog.
Cheers!
I honestly don't know if 11W makes money off this blog (I doubt it), and I don't care one way or the other if they do. I do, however, know that the 11W writers devote an incredible amount of time to making 11W the best blog possible, and I do think it is the best Buckeye blog out there. I know this because I've been a loyal reader for well over a year now, although I don't recognize your name. I know that the 11W writers care deeply about producing the best blog possible and by all accounts they do an excellent job.
But the 11W writers are not perfect, and I think they made a mistake in bringing Luke on board. I think a lot of people, although not everyone, agrees with me. You try to make the argument about the readers' lack of "class" or "education", but that stuff reeks of TSUN-type elitism and has no place here. I am merely stating that while I appreciate his effort, I do not think Luke's style fits with the blog. It's indisputable that a great deal of commenters have left negative feedback on a blog that almost always receives nothing but positive feedback. I think that should give the 11W powers-that-be pause and that they should reconsider their choice to have Luke as a named contributor.
Now Johnny Rocket Fingers wants to get the last word. If Johnny Rocket Fingers can't take the heat (criticism) of my comment on Luke disseminated by Wil, re-disseminated by me, then a polite response by Wil, and then you butting into a conversation not targeted at you, then Johny Rocket Fingers should just pack his arrogant intelligent comedic writing and make this his first and last post. Vicious cycle of one uppers huh? Why don't you just take it out of your pants now and we'll get this argument taken care of.
I expect nothing more than a passive aggressive smart-ass remark.
Waiting........
Mr. Rocket, you have the conch
Luke,
haha this is a whole mess and I believe all the argueing was fueled more by these "one uppers" than your article. Continue to write, but the political satire was way over a lot of our heads and it was just hard for some to grasp what you were getting at. We didn't understand if Rose was on the team or not. Keep writing you'll be fine!
Yes, and I do realize I spelled arguing wrong. So, I'd like to clear that up before another smart ass points that out.
To clear the air, I have nothing wrong with constructive criticism.
It was comments like these that I was refering to when I stated they showed a lack of class:
"This is the worst 11W post yet. Bunch of garbage about nothing."
"but this is the most poorly written and most confusing writing ever posted on this site."
"DUMB!!!!!"
"borderline annoying"
Just as Luke opens himself up to criticism when he writes on a blog, people who make comments like this open themselves up to being called ignorant or classless when they make these comments.
Everyone has a write to have their opinion, but because you simply do not like the style of the article does not mean that it is "garbage," "poorly written," "DUMB," or "annoying."
Save the hate for UM fans please.
has a RIGHT, not WRITE
(before the grammar nazi gets me)
Buckets,
Let me guess... your favorite movie is "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas? Lol.
You make many assumptions. To the negative aspects of being. Not everything is an attack on you. Likewise, not everything needs to be attacked. What's with all the anger?
Just face it, you are angry and negative. But I still love you. However, I will not take it out of my pants now... or ever, for the likes of you. Emanuelle Chriqui, yes! You, hell no!
Further, it is true, that Wil has a superior intellect than you do. Ditto for Luke.
Seeing you spin your wheels over Luke's post... well, that was pure poetry! Challenge yourself sometime, Buckets! Press yourself! You can do it, I have faith in you.
Peace Out,
Rocket
Does the person that said "if you don't enjoy it don't read it" realize how dumb they sound? How exactly do you think you go about deciding that you don't enjoy it...
A Bag of Doritos,
My girlfriend has a conch. It is the nicest thing to have for dinner.
Jim, there are a few people that were asking for 11W to stop having Luke write posts. These people do not want his posts on her because they don't like them (one would assume). They have clearly made the decision that they will not like his future posts before they even exist (let alone when said fans have read them).
So I take that comment to mean that those fans simply do not have to read his posts since they have already made the decision that they will not like them.
Hahaha. This thread delivers.
People taking the post seriously? Check.
A description of the post as "political satire"? Check.
People simultaneously making ad hominem (you can use the google machines to look up what this means) attacks on the poster, then getting upset when other posters giggle that the post "went over their heads"? Check.
You guys are special. Keep up the good work!
Are you a West Palm Beach Buckeye? If so where do buckeye fans go to watch the game?
Oh, I was not aware of that. My bad.